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Things that confuse me about haircuts

Nessie
over 4 years ago

Neurotypicals seem to place quite a high priority on how their hair looks and I really don't understand their fixation with it. For example:

  1. Why they talk about going to the hairdresser (who cares?)
  2. Why they enjoy having their hair cut (bright lights, horrible chemical smells and a hairdresser who talks incessant b*****ks)
  3. Why they walk up to you periodically with a big grin and say, "So, what do you think? Do you like it?" (as if I'm expected to notice that something has changed. Hint: I never do)
  4. Why they constantly brush, fluff-up or re-style their hair throughout the day (I ran a cursory brush through it when I got up, and I go to work to, y'know, work, not play with my hair all day)
  5. Why hairdressers are always trying to convince you to 'try something new' (err, it's taken me a decade to find something that both looks and feels acceptable, why would I change that?)
  6. Why they cost so much (especially with the amount of torment we have to put up with, per point 2, frankly we should be paid to be sat there)

Do you understand it? Funny stories and explanations both welcome and encouraged.

Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    1. 2.I like to look good, it makes me confident.

    3. Because they like you and wanna hear sth nice from you. They like to share their happiness, it makes them happier.

    4. Sometimes it's tics, sometimes it's hair getting in front of your eyes and sometimes they just wanna fix a tiny bit so they feel more comfortable and beautiful in their bodies

    5. Because a lot of people are just too afraid to ask.

    6. Because hairdressers are people who need to earn money same as everyone.

  • over 4 years ago in reply to Bekind

    Thank you for going through and responding to each point. I really appreciate you sharing some insight and rationale behind these behaviours and social customs. Please forgive my autie-ness, but do you mind if I ask some follow-up questions? Sorry if any of these questions are really annoying (I honestly don't mean to be).

    Bekind said:
    1. 2.I like to look good, it makes me confident.

    Okay, but a lot of people (and I'm not saying you're one of them) are bad at their job and overweight. Why do they think a haircut will fix that (which is surely the root-cause of their lack of confidence)?

    Bekind said:
    3. Because they like you and wanna hear sth nice from you. They like to share their happiness, it makes them happier.

    I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand this either! Why would someone think they deserve a compliment for another person's work (i.e. the hairdresser's)? If they want me to say something nice, they ought to tell me about something they've achieved (and, if I'm not caught off-guard too much, I can pretend to be impressed).

    Bekind said:
    4. Sometimes it's tics, sometimes it's hair getting in front of your eyes and sometimes they just wanna fix a tiny bit so they feel more comfortable and beautiful in their bodies

    I can understand the tics as we all have stims here; I don't understand why someone would get a haircut which annoys them, nor the last thing you say although it was quite poetic. Slight smile

    Bekind said:
    5. Because a lot of people are just too afraid to ask.

    I had no idea this was the case. The impression I've always had from hairdressers is they find my hairstyle boring and they want to show off their skills, then leave me with the high-maintenance fallout for the next few months.

    Bekind said:
    6. Because hairdressers are people who need to earn money same as everyone.

    I'm sorry, but I really can't agree with this. The last time I went to a hairdresser, I went with my boyfriend. I always knew that women got charged a lot more for a haircut than men and had kind of accepted this as a necessary evil, like periods and the tampon tax. What I didn't know is that my hairdresser was spending a total of 4 minutes doing my hair and charging me £25, but a total of 40 minutes cutting my boyfriend's hair and charging him £12. I subsequently found a barber who would do it for a slice of cake from the bakery opposite his shop, but that was just embarrassing for both of us so I now cut my own hair.

Reply
  • over 4 years ago in reply to Bekind

    Thank you for going through and responding to each point. I really appreciate you sharing some insight and rationale behind these behaviours and social customs. Please forgive my autie-ness, but do you mind if I ask some follow-up questions? Sorry if any of these questions are really annoying (I honestly don't mean to be).

    Bekind said:
    1. 2.I like to look good, it makes me confident.

    Okay, but a lot of people (and I'm not saying you're one of them) are bad at their job and overweight. Why do they think a haircut will fix that (which is surely the root-cause of their lack of confidence)?

    Bekind said:
    3. Because they like you and wanna hear sth nice from you. They like to share their happiness, it makes them happier.

    I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand this either! Why would someone think they deserve a compliment for another person's work (i.e. the hairdresser's)? If they want me to say something nice, they ought to tell me about something they've achieved (and, if I'm not caught off-guard too much, I can pretend to be impressed).

    Bekind said:
    4. Sometimes it's tics, sometimes it's hair getting in front of your eyes and sometimes they just wanna fix a tiny bit so they feel more comfortable and beautiful in their bodies

    I can understand the tics as we all have stims here; I don't understand why someone would get a haircut which annoys them, nor the last thing you say although it was quite poetic. Slight smile

    Bekind said:
    5. Because a lot of people are just too afraid to ask.

    I had no idea this was the case. The impression I've always had from hairdressers is they find my hairstyle boring and they want to show off their skills, then leave me with the high-maintenance fallout for the next few months.

    Bekind said:
    6. Because hairdressers are people who need to earn money same as everyone.

    I'm sorry, but I really can't agree with this. The last time I went to a hairdresser, I went with my boyfriend. I always knew that women got charged a lot more for a haircut than men and had kind of accepted this as a necessary evil, like periods and the tampon tax. What I didn't know is that my hairdresser was spending a total of 4 minutes doing my hair and charging me £25, but a total of 40 minutes cutting my boyfriend's hair and charging him £12. I subsequently found a barber who would do it for a slice of cake from the bakery opposite his shop, but that was just embarrassing for both of us so I now cut my own hair.

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