Things that confuse me about haircuts

I feel comfortable going to the same place every time.  going elsewhere is stressful, costs more money and isn't an improvement.

Here are a few photos of where I go in this traditional market.  It looks and feels like being in a time warp.

I'm not sure if this is an autistic thing or not but when I was a kid I had to take my cut hair home with me in a bag or I'd get really upset..

:) I'm a baldy. I lost my hair at 23. Life is so much more easier now. Back in the 90s it wasn't easy to be bald but I didn't care. 

However! I have been thinking lately about the advances in regrowth and wonder whether I'd try it. Only because I'm sick of being cold in the winter.

1. the same reason you talk about your "special interest" (ugh i hate that term) . . . because it is what they are interested in. 

2. because bright lights and chemical smells do not affect them the way they affect you.

3. because they want to make sure you are happy with what they have done for you, also because all people need to be told that they are good at what they do. 

4. the majority of species have something that attracts a mate, some birds collect beautiful things, some animals dance, some have bright colouring. it is built into most people's central behaviour as an instinct to keep the population of the species high and strong. nice hair is a sign of good health and therefor good reproductive health, which is a subconsciously attractive attribute. it is survival of the species. 

5. i have never had a hairdresser ask me to try something new, unless i was modelling. most hairdressers like my natural hair most of all and don't want to change it. 

6. it costs so much because it is a skilled profession, it may seem like it is not but it is an art and artists should be paid for their work. also hairdresser establishments need to pay the rent, food, taxes, national insurance. they are all independent businesses  and creatives who are excellent. 

my last visit to the hairdressers was amazing, i told them i had asperger's, the manager then arranged to book me in at their quietest time, the hairdresser i had turned down the music and did not speak a single word to me. she did exactly what i had asked for and the was amaaazing. I love to have nice hair because when i have nice hair i feel good. 

I had a haircut today.

I went to my regular barber's shop which is probably the cheapest in the city. £4.10

It's in the basement of a large covered market.  I think it's been there for around a century.

It's a very traditional barbers. The type that was common in the first half of the twentieth century. But now has almost died out.  There's a spiral stairway to the basement, with  traditional glossy bricks lining the walls. At the base,  we turn left for the Gentleman's toilets,  and right for the barbers shop.  The toilets closed down around twenty years ago (I suspect hygiene problems). 

I like the atmosphere there. It's unchanged since my first visit 40 years ago.

My hair was shoulder length so I just used curling tongs and lots of hair spray. Practising a few times is a good idea! Weddings are stressful even as a guest! 

I have my hair cut every year whether it needs it or not.

Not a big concern of mine as I am not the person who has to look at it. My hair goes from short to needing a cut.  I am now in my winter plumage which keeps my ears warm.

Home hairdressers are the best

I don't understand it either, though I wouldn't hold it against anyone if it's what makes them happy (so long as they don't hold it against me that I don't care!)

Currently: Hair at the back - nearly down to my bum (kept out of the way as a pony-tail); hair at the front and top - long since departed; hair on the chin - would make a nice home for a family of small songbirds or rodents (and a useful reminder of what I had for tea!)

Yes - the dreaded (though not dreadlocked!) "hippie ageing disgracefully" look. Maybe a little ironic, as I've always been more of a punk than a hippy - I used to get rather bemused with the punks who kept banging on about punk being all about "being what you want to be", while berating me for "not being punk enough" because of my lack of spikiness and garish colours (on at least one occasion half the audience walked out of one of our gigs when they saw a "hippy" on stage before we'd even played a note!)

The only person who has ever cut my hair is my Mum - she worked as a hairdresser before me and my brother came along, and used to do neighbours' hair for a bit of pin-money (aaargh - the smell when she used to do perms!). I went through a phase of shaving it all off (apart from the inevitable patches that I always missed - I never will get the hang of mirrors!) But I just can't be bothered with all that any more, and I can't stand having a chatty stranger lurking about where I can't see them and pawing at my head.

Thank you for going through and responding to each point. I really appreciate you sharing some insight and rationale behind these behaviours and social customs. Please forgive my autie-ness, but do you mind if I ask some follow-up questions? Sorry if any of these questions are really annoying (I honestly don't mean to be).

Bekind said:

1. 2.I like to look good, it makes me confident.

Okay, but a lot of people (and I'm not saying you're one of them) are bad at their job and overweight. Why do they think a haircut will fix that (which is surely the root-cause of their lack of confidence)?

Bekind said:

3. Because they like you and wanna hear sth nice from you. They like to share their happiness, it makes them happier.

I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand this either! Why would someone think they deserve a compliment for another person's work (i.e. the hairdresser's)? If they want me to say something nice, they ought to tell me about something they've achieved (and, if I'm not caught off-guard too much, I can pretend to be impressed).

Bekind said:

4. Sometimes it's tics, sometimes it's hair getting in front of your eyes and sometimes they just wanna fix a tiny bit so they feel more comfortable and beautiful in their bodies

I can understand the tics as we all have stims here; I don't understand why someone would get a haircut which annoys them, nor the last thing you say although it was quite poetic. 

Bekind said:

5. Because a lot of people are just too afraid to ask.

I had no idea this was the case. The impression I've always had from hairdressers is they find my hairstyle boring and they want to show off their skills, then leave me with the high-maintenance fallout for the next few months.

Bekind said:

6. Because hairdressers are people who need to earn money same as everyone.

I'm sorry, but I really can't agree with this. The last time I went to a hairdresser, I went with my boyfriend. I always knew that women got charged a lot more for a haircut than men and had kind of accepted this as a necessary evil, like periods and the tampon tax. What I didn't know is that my hairdresser was spending a total of 4 minutes doing my hair and charging me £25, but a total of 40 minutes cutting my boyfriend's hair and charging him £12. I subsequently found a barber who would do it for a slice of cake from the bakery opposite his shop, but that was just embarrassing for both of us so I now cut my own hair.

Mesmerist said:

It's like going to the dentist, I just want to get it over with.

Fantastic analogy, love it.

Mesmerist said:

If someone asks me; 'have you always had fine hair?' I'm tempted to reply, no, I was born with a full afro. 

I have fine hair too. I find it's better behaved if I keep it long and all one length. I'm 37 but look about 27. Wonder if I'll start getting those kinda comments once I reach 40?

Kitsune said:

I’m a low maintenance hair girl, I only wash and condition it then let it air dry, I can’t be dealing with dryers/straighteners/et al.

Hehe, I'm completely with you on that, although I don't often bother with conditioner. :-)

Kitsune said:

Our hairdresser is well trained/knows I’m an awkward cow and doesn’t bother trying to convince me to try anything new :-)

Perfection is...!

Unknown said:

growing up it was the norm for girls to have perfectly straight hair, and many girls dye their hair

Same here. I was bullied for not doing these things. I tried dying my hair a few times but it always looked even worse.

Unknown said:

I woukd leave them to it and not judge just as I would like them to let me be.

I think that's actually really healthy advice. It works both ways and I hadn't thought of it like that before, so thank you.

Fraiselongue said:

I cut my own hair. Sometimes it looks good, sometimes not so good

Yep, I'm at this point now. If I want a neat job, I ask my fiancé to help. I've never really cared about how my hair looks, it was always for other people's benefit, but now I don't care about their opinions either. So liberating.

You're right—professional wedding looks always seem so fake, kinda pantomime-esque, but kudos on doing your own wedding hair and make up. I'm thinking of going that route too. I need to practise a bit first, although, if I'm totally honest, I'm struggling to be bothered. Maybe I'll feel more motivated closer to the time.

It's an interesting topic - this whole hair and beauty/grooming thing. I do have my hair quite longish and regular cut and styled ect but I really do not enjoy it. It's like going to the dentist, I just want to get it over with. I've been to Spa days with friends and it was so regimented it was like being in prison   I've had unwanted comments about my appearance ie, you're over 40, why do you still have long hair! If someone asks me; 'have you always had fine hair?' I'm tempted to reply, no, I was born with a full afro. 

I always find it wierd how so much effort goes into making your hair look nice I've recently cut my hair short as a lady its so freeing used to spend most of my life combing trying to tame it now so free. good to get to my scalp too feels good. spent so much money over the years going to hair dressers doing highlights a lot of the time if you start dying your own hair i;ve had hairdressers look at me wierd when i go in only wanting a cut and not a dye its like well i'm entitiled to do what i want to my hair without paying through the nose for it. I wish there was an easier way of cutting your own hair at home - i tried a few times and last time ended up cutting my ear and getting bald patches so leaving it to grow then will see if can get a cheap barber in to visit at home or something like that. the best hairdressers ive had is when you go in with a clear idea of what you want and they listen to it. growing up i would often say i didnt like having frizzy hair and the hairdresser would still style it curly and frizzy at the end. so many will just do whatever to get money out of you don't tale it know what you want go to them with that and if they can't deliver go somewhere else its ike any service know what you want and bargain for it

I had a hairdresser recently ask me could we do a slightly different time, I said no and suggested another time, they didn't get back to me so i suggested we meet a few weeks later for my hair to grow out a bit because i reasonably presumed we couldn't meet. next day he started sending me emails saying as a professional he charged cancellation fees and would waive it this time! I was like well maybe better communicate what you mean when arranging appointments! He did say sorry can we please keep in touch and I thought no you tried to charge me unreasonably for a service that I reasonably thought wasnt happening bugger off. found a cheaper barber that comes to homes will try them when ready. its so cold at the moment too so glad it is growing back slowly but surely.

Hi! I like to get my hair trimmed and my highlights redone at least once every 3 months BUT I don’t feel the need to talk about it constantly, I just think about it periodically. We have a hairdresser visit our house once every 6 weeks as it’s cheaper and easier with the children, my youngest who’s two also has ASD and she hates having her hair cut, she would also cause chaos in a hairdressing salon! Also it’s in our home environment so no bright lights and sadly for our hairdresser, I’m the one who talks incessant b******s! I usually forget that I’ve had my hair done about 24 hours later and like yourself I only brush it when I get up and before I go out. I’m a low maintenance hair girl, I only wash and condition it then let it air dry, I can’t be dealing with dryers/straighteners/et al. A fringe actually suites me better but I cba with maintaining a fringe properly so I don’t have one anymore. Our hairdresser is well trained/knows I’m an awkward cow and doesn’t bother trying to convince me to try anything new :-)

I'm not into fashion and style in the usual sense for females but I take my own sort of interest in it. A good haircut is part of my identity and always has been. This used to be and probably still is tied to notions of the music I like. Having said all this, I don take time to style my hair, it's wash and a 2 minute dry. I don't understand how people can mess around with their hair as much as they do.

If you saw me you probably wouldn't think my hair was out of the ordinary however, growing up it was the norm for girls to have perfectly straight hair, and many girls dye their hair. I've never felt I had to do this. So embracing my curls and greyness was my way of taking a stand against this as I have never felt like a typical female or felt like I need to fit in.

If "NT" people want to fettle and faff with their hair then that's entirely up to them.  I woukd leave them to it and not judge just as I would like them to let me be.

1. 2.I like to look good, it makes me confident.

3. Because they like you and wanna hear sth nice from you. They like to share their happiness, it makes them happier.

4. Sometimes it's tics, sometimes it's hair getting in front of your eyes and sometimes they just wanna fix a tiny bit so they feel more comfortable and beautiful in their bodies

5. Because a lot of people are just too afraid to ask.

6. Because hairdressers are people who need to earn money same as everyone.

I love the feel when I shave my head. I just find it a faff having to keep on top of it!