Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter is 12 and spends practically all day on her tablet or laptop, I have tried turning the internet off for some of the day but it causes so many arguments, she's moody when not playing her favourite online games, she shouts at me and her brother. She literally sits on her bed all day o lying coming out for her dinner. Does anyone have any advice, or know where I can go for help please? I cant stand watching her wasting her life away, doing nothing but playing online games. Thankyou
You say she is doing nothing but playing online games. Is that what she is doing all of the time she is online? I am asking this because of the dangers of social media, which can enable online bullying and manipulation of youngsters and cause depression/anxiety and negative behaviours. Have you talked to her about social media, gaming with other people she hasn't met, and how to stay safe online? Have you set your internet settings appropriately? (I don't know about this myself, as I don't have young kids, but you can get advice if you're not sure)
Gaming is not a problem in itself, as others have said. But she will need to spend some time each week interacting "off line", to learn the people skills she will need in order to make friends at college, get a job, etc, so it might be helpful to sit her down and explain this. If it is put in a way that shows you want to help her develop and improve her life, rather than it looking like you are punishing her, she might be more favourably responsive.
Finally, as has been suggested, maybe you could do some gaming as a family to get her out of her room and interacting with you and her brother? Perhaps get a gaming console you keep in the living room, with a few games you can all play together?
That’s interesting Pixiefox, that you think, or suggest, that all people will at some point, have to follow the nuerotypical pattern for life, such as making friends, going to college and getting a job.
I can understand that coming from a neurotypical person but find it odd coming from somebody who is autistic ~ unless, of course, you also naturally follow this type of life plan, which would, of course, make it not strange at all?
It’s just not a life plan that I’ve ever followed and I just presumed it was just what the majority of people did, and that I clearly, was simply not in the majority, but then when I got my diagnosis, I thought it was a nt thing, but maybe it’s not, maybe it’s a lifestyle choice that appeals to lots of people, nt and nd alike and that’s it’s not so much about being nt, but more about a lifestyle choice that is simply most appealing to the masses, nt or not ~ which would explain everything . Thank you. I learn so much from what people share on here
My take on this is that it would be more about developing skills in order to increase or maintain options, rather than prescribing a particular path through life.
It's certainly an interesting topic in itself, though - I think there's certainly a conventional pattern for life, but I'm not sure it's an NT preference so much as being governed by the dictates of our education system and economy (although we might consider the origins of these).
I would find this a good thread on its own tbh. The point at which we transition into the "real world" (college, jobs, relationships) proves problematic in my family.
Yes, as regards the next generation, it'd be about keeping options open for them for whichever path they might choose.
I totally understand developing skills and awareness, trying things out etc, in order to increase a persons capacity to choose different options in life, to see what suits them, but I have never bought into the traditional life path. I never saw it as a nt life path, until I got my diagnosis, but I did soon realise that it wasn't only nt people who prescribe to it, but I would definitely help a person to expand and broaden their world so they have got choice but my ideas don't always, if ever, fit into the traditional life path.