Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm wondering if anyone else has ever fantasied about there dream wedding day or any similar life events which they have yet to experience and waiting for the moment for it too happen, as lately been fantasying about my dream wedding but I'm single and no sign of my future bride to be in the near future.
My dream day would be a truely no conventional wedding following no traditions what so ever, i know for a austitic person that can be challenging but for me it a chance for me to experience everything new in one day and one of these experience would be me seeing what if feels like to be bride and wear the traditional bride outfit and all what the bride would experience e.t.c then rest of will be truely unique to fit my personaility.
Because wedding days are only time you could protential any of this special magic creating stuff so you might as well go all guns blazing.
I know i fantasy alot because of my condition trying to figure out what everyone purpose is on this planet by trying to step in to there shoes no matter the gender.
When I was a child my only ambition in life was to get married and have a child. During my teens, I would spend hours fantasising about my wedding, even though I had no boyfriend. There was one occasion when my mother thought I had completely lost the plot because I had drawn up a table plan of who would sit where at the wedding breakfast. Because I had no boyfriend, this table plan only consisted of my friends and relatives.
I would fantasise about my marriage and the kind of house that I might live in, what the garden might look like, etc. I was realistic enough to know that this marriage would not be perfect all of the time, so had factored in disagreements that myself and my future husband might have. This was something that none of my NT friends had ever done when fantasising about their own weddings and married life.
It sounds like you are thinking of the fairytale wedding and living happily ever after. There is nothing wrong with that Sparkling ( I am changing your name to Sparkle ok ? ) Its either that or ollie. Its your choice :-)
It was something I did a lot as a child and teenager. Whilst I haven't completely ruled out the notion of dating and 'settling down', I now question if I've become too accustomed to being single and have become a bit too set in my ways. Relationships are all about compromise, and I'm not sure how I would cope with that now, like compromising on things like home decor, what to watch on TV, where to go on holiday (if it could be afforded), etc.
Shortening my name to Sparkle is fine by me. :-)
Ok, sorry about that. I get what you mean now.
To clarify, I wasn't implying that couples in relationships should be joined at the hip and spend all their available time together, as I feel that's unhealthy. It's good to have space in a relationship to pursue individual interests, I think. Also, having individual interests means there is more to talk about. It's all about creating a sense of balance.
I have known some couples who seem to be so codependent that they seem to be incapable of independent thinking. Instead of saying, "I think..." it's always "We think..." In some cases, they will dress almost identically, as though trying to be a carbon copy of each other. Identical 'His & Hers' coats, footwear, and so on. That's not for me, as I just consider it weird.
Ok. I see what you mean. Sounds like you have your head screwed on. Being co-dependant is not my cup of tea, but i can relate to what you have said.
Approximately 20 years ago (long before I knew I was autistic), I was fortunate enough to have found myself in a relationship that appeared to be going somewhere. Without going into details, a third party succeeded in completely sabotaging our relationship. It's hard not to wonder sometimes if we would have stayed together if that hadn't happened.
Speaking from experience, dead-end relationships are just so unfulfilling and pointless in my opinion. Whilst I believe relationships are a gamble (nobody knows at the onset how they are going to turn out), I have difficulty understanding couples who choose to remain in relationships, simply for the sake of being in a relationship, and not because they actually want to be with each other and enjoy each others company.
I get where you are coming from. With Autism, ( i think ) it would take a special , knowing person to understand us. Nobody wants a dead end Relationship, it is so mentally draining. Remember Sparkle...the best comes to those who wait :-)