Published on 12, July, 2020
My son was diagnosed with autism last year and I'm new to this forum. I would really appreciate some advice on how to make meal times less stressful.
He tends to prefer soft foods and doesn't like things mixed up (so a casserole which has meat and veg in a sauce is a no go). Meat and veg separated on the plate seems work better; but actually he really struggles with eating veg; he doesn't like the textures. So if we insist he eats even a piece now, he screws up his face and looks like he wants to be sick and can go into meltdown...
Fruit is not such a problem luckily (but he will only suck the juice out of satsumas/clementines pieces - doesn't like the skin) and pears need to be peeled. The texture of food really does cause problems for him.
We've recently tried putting the food into dishes (rather than plating up for him), so he can help himself, in the hope that it would make things less stressful for him; but now he really will only choose the meat or pasta (beige food) with mayonnaise!
So my question is, if he eats meat, fruit, lots of milk/yoghurts, bread/pasta, but pretty much no vegetables should we just let him be? It's tricky because we don't want his younger sister who is 3 to be influenced by his habits. And ideally don't really want to be cooking different meals for them both.
I think he is generally healthy, but worried he might not be getting enough vitamins etc. I guess we could give him some supplements, but not sure what?
Any advice, greatly received. Thanks :)
I've always been a really fussy eater. I generally would say let him be if he is eating a bit of a range. It is really stressful having to eat things you really don't like. You can always try reintroducing it later in life if his diet improves a bit. At least he eats fruit. My only other suggestion would be if the problem with veg is the texture not the taste then could you blend it up so it is soft?
Thanks, yes I have thought of blending veg etc. Unfortunately he’s not so keen on soup at the moment. And on pasta he might try to wipe it off. But maybe that will change.
I take your point about trying it again in the future. Thank you!
I would definitely keep it separate if you did try it. I would still freak out if someone put something on my pasta. I wouldn't wipe it off, I just wouldn't eat it. I do eat veg, but it's very limited, peas and brocolli only. Maybe leave it a little while with no veg and see how his eating developed. As a child I went through stages where I would only eat one type of food for weeks.
I do the same but the opposite way round. I eat the best bits first so I can enjoy them before I get full. The order never varies. It's always the same unless there is an extra type of food on the plate.
I have up on being a grown up. I don't often like the veg in a restaurant so I just choose the bits I like.
I assess a plate of food to decide the correct order of eating it - it depends on which part I like most - that will be last so the best taste stays in my mouth after the meal is finished.
I eat the stuff I'm not bothered about first but continually re-assess the remaining volume in case I could become full and might not be able to manage the best bits. That would be a disaster.
Roast dinners are a challenge - so much I don't care about to clear first to save the roast potatoes and meat for last.
Going to a carvery is a quandry - do I just choose the bits I like or should I be a grown-up and eat the veg too?
I have improved with my liking of separate thing. Everything used to be separate. As a child I had everything in bowls so the foods couldnt 'contaminate' each other. I will now eat some foods together like meat and potato. This is a recent development, I used to eat them separately. Vegetable still has to be separate. And I won't have sauce of any kind on my food. One of my friends always laughs because I always eat things like roast dinners in the same order.