Published on 12, July, 2020
...all I want to do is go out and get a nice bottle or two of red wine.
Not to get bladdered. Not because my body is craving booze.
But just to get some relief from all the greed, selfishness, vanity, savagery, bigotry, trash and plain stupidity I can't help noticing all around me!
I don't need to make a list. It's everything from violence in Gaza and Derry, to desperate refugees being turned back out to sea by populist governments, to people leaving their crap everywhere, to pre-school kids of Generation Z with their heads stuck in their phones.
The human race is nuts. It's doomed.
I've found myself sleeping much more now. Over the weekend, I've napped at regular intervals. I've tried reading, but can't focus on it for long enough. Sleep gives me some reprieve. Death's second self.
I just want to escape.
"Accident black spot? These aren't accidents. People are throwing themselves into the road willingly to escape all this hideousness. Go ahead, darling! Throw yourself into the road!"
Withnail - 'Withnail and I'
(now I'll shut up and go hide again...)
I'm around 40 days sober. I'm hating it right now. Just wanna turn my thoughts off.
Well done, 1986. I can guess how you feel.
Well done on your around 40 days sober. Why do we, humans and maybe particularly autistic people, seem to be cursed with this brain activity? Maybe you can redirect your thoughts to something else? CBT again?
And yes, many people can be superficial as Tom says in the head post. I worry about addiction to electronic communication, since I seem to do it so much. But 'kids these days' - I met a bunch of older teenagers last night and they were polite, competent, and concerned over a local patch of natural land near me. I still locked up my bike just in case, but... There is nothing either good or bad but thinking make it so.