Published on 12, July, 2020
...all I want to do is go out and get a nice bottle or two of red wine.
Not to get bladdered. Not because my body is craving booze.
But just to get some relief from all the greed, selfishness, vanity, savagery, bigotry, trash and plain stupidity I can't help noticing all around me!
I don't need to make a list. It's everything from violence in Gaza and Derry, to desperate refugees being turned back out to sea by populist governments, to people leaving their crap everywhere, to pre-school kids of Generation Z with their heads stuck in their phones.
The human race is nuts. It's doomed.
I've found myself sleeping much more now. Over the weekend, I've napped at regular intervals. I've tried reading, but can't focus on it for long enough. Sleep gives me some reprieve. Death's second self.
I just want to escape.
"Accident black spot? These aren't accidents. People are throwing themselves into the road willingly to escape all this hideousness. Go ahead, darling! Throw yourself into the road!"
Withnail - 'Withnail and I'
(now I'll shut up and go hide again...)
This seems pertinent...
The dangers of white knuckle sobriety include:
* Such people are more at risk of relapse. There may come a day when there willpower is no longer enough to keep them away from alcohol. The lack of enjoyment they experience from recovery means that they have a lot less to lose by relapsing. * Those people who use just willpower to stay away from alcohol can be difficult to be around. They will tend to have a low tolerance for any type of irritation, and make life miserable for other people. Family and friends may be disappointed to find that they still suffer so much from the behavior of the individual even though there is no longer any alcohol involved. * People with white knuckle sobriety will find life away from alcohol a real challenge. Instead of enjoying the freedom of recovery, they just muddle through. These individuals fail to make the most of the possibilities offered by a life away from alcoholism. * It may lead to depression or other forms of substance abuse
This is all rather negative don’t you think? Such strong terms such as challenging and difficult... try to put things in a positive light..
every hour without a drink helps to resolve you’re connection with your body, makes you a healthier individual, proves you have the capacity to take back control.
I have not had an alcoholic drink in quite a few years. If life sober was not better than drunk, then I would be drunk. I like being sober so much more. I say this, not only as it is true for me, but to suggest it’s not all White knuckling. It is possible. As far as replacement is concerned, sweets can help. There’s a lot of sugar in booze and there’s not point craving booze and sugar. Just stick to the booze for now. You can deal with the sugar once the booze head quietens.