Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi All,
Just wondered if anyone else could identify with the problems I have around greetings. Every day when my partner comes home and shouts "Hi" it's like I have a mental block that makes me feel slightly angry and I just don't want to say hello to him. It's almost a physical reaction that I cannot force myself to do it. It's not that I am not happy he's home its just getting past that initial greeting. The same thing can happen when I visit people close to me such as my Mum. I prefer to just start chatting about something important than have to say "Hello" It just feels a bit pointless.
I also have an issue with using names. I never call my boyfriend by his name (to his face, can use his name when talking about him), never have done with previous boyfriends either or many people that I am close too, this has been a problem and upset people including my Dad as I found it hard to call him Dad. It's amazing how easy it is to get away without the need for use of names.
All of this is easier for me with people I am not so familiar with. Doesn't mean I enjoy it, just find it easier going through these motions with people that I have to - like those at work, than people I am closer to.
Could this be an autism trait or is this a whole new issue?
Thanks
The title caught my eye, because although I don't have any issues with greetings (apart from the occassional slip-up when I answer "how are you?" as if it is a real question people want an answer to), but I *do* have an issue with using people's names.
I actually noticed this about myself years ago, long before I had ever learnt anything accurate about autism, so I don't know if it's at all common. I feel really awkward when I have to say someone's name, so I generally try to avoid it as much as I can. Like you, it is only when I am actually speaking to them rather than talking about them to other people.
When I need to speak to somebody I'll try and get their attention another way. If I can't and it's important I will use their name but it feels so wrong. If it's not terribly important I just let it go and don't talk to them.
I'm the opposite. I think I over use people's names. I've noticed I seem to do it a lot more than others. Even when I'm speaking to my partner and there's only the two of us plus a pet at home. I don't even know I'm doing it half thr time.