Mental health

Thanks for the information. I'll check my settings.

I've sent you a friend request on here. That could be why there's no option, because we aren't friends. I'll look at my options, to make sure you can send me a message.

I've changed my settings, so anyone can message me.

You can set your setting to allow either anyone/just friends/no-one to be allowed to send you a message - to send someone a message or request to be their friend put your mouse over their name and select what you want to do from the options - maybe slightly different on a phone.

Its ok no need to apologise its all good.. just looked dont think theres a messaging box on here unless im just not looking right.. 

Either way just let me know.

No problem at all. You're 10 years older than me. It's going to be easy to remember that.

Sorry for jumping to assumptions about why you were asking.

Don't apologise, it wasn't your fault. I had an alarm set for a reason, and I chose to ignore it, like a buffoon.

I'll see if there's a messaging function on here. If not, I don't know what to do. I guess I'll drop a link to one of my social media accounts, if that's not against the rules of the site.

Yeh 87 is my birth year is that a problem?

Dont worry im not about to coax ya into gaming was just curious thats all.

Sorry to keep ya from ya appointment hope all goes well :) I dont stay up late myself no more myself normally in bed by 10 if not earlier can't do late no more always so tired an worn out. Honestly u can just reply when u can im not guna hold ya to reply to me thats ok.             Whenever u have spare time thats good an if ur up for that

Random question, but is 87 your birth year?

Sorry for the length of this reply, by the way. It might be somewhat overwhelming. Just reply to what feels most important to you.

Thank you for your kind words. That doctor managed to push me into a meltdown the next time I saw them. This, sadly, is the state of the NHS for autistic people.

I'm a PC gamer, but I play no games online, due to extreme social anxiety, rooted in a not good past. I would be willing to invest in an online game for us to play. That's if you have a PC that's powerful enough for some of the games out there today, but they can be expensive. If not, we can just talk about anything.

I'm not one to stay up late, most days, but I am willing to work with you on figuring out a time we can interact. Shouldn't be too hard, as I have nothing but an appointment for today. We can discuss anything. I talk to my two friends, both internet friends, about everything, including mental health. Plus, I feel having an autistic friend who can relate to what we say will be good for both of us. Don't worry about feeling like you're saying too much. I've replied to much longer messages than what you're putting out right now, and I've had my friends confide in me about a lot, as well as I have confided in them with a lot.

Don't worry about how you can help me. Just worry about yourself, for now. We can worry about me if  I enter a low state, which is rare these days.

I'm currently rather busy with stuff going on in my life, but I'll try see if there's a way I can message you on here later on. Maybe later today, or even tomorrow. I won't have the time to get back to you right now. I spent so much time on this reply that I might be late for a dental appointment. (My own fault. I had an alarm set for it, which I ignored.)

Sorry to hear you went through those experiences urself thats damn right disrespectful there meant to be there to help an listen but they dont which is awful, but yeh I'd love to have someone to talk to without feeling im saying to much or feeling bad for saying certain things.

Do you game on on another platform?

But yeh I'd be the kind to stay up extremely late an laugh an joke but I can't remember the last time I even enjoyed being in someone's company I just feel out of place all the time now its so hard.

But yeh if ud be happy to listen I wouldn't mind having someone to talk to an same to you I may not be much help but I can relate in most ways I suppose an listen to you to.

Not being able to reply, whether you freeze, or you mask, it's so disappointing in yourself, but understand this is your mind trying to protect you from what's probably been some tough experiences for you to process.

I've had a psychiatrist laugh at me when I told them I was autistic, and ask "Is that something you read online?", among other things. Institutional abandonment is a real issue. Not being taken seriously, especially during an intense low, like you're experiencing right now is not only disrespectful, it's incredibly harmful. This is you sharing your vulnerabilities, your experiences, your pain, and none of it is being treated as if it's real or serious.

Do you think having someone to talk to on here would help? Someone to share your pain with? I have literally nothing going on, due to my own mental state, and would be more than happy to talk to you about all of this, or anything, really, if you're up for that. Whether it's simply wanting someone to talk to, or needing someone to support you, I am willing, and I am sure many people on here would be willing.

Also, I love gaming, though I don't have an Xbox. My friend has recently gotten into colouring. We both remember a time when we were in your position, no joy from our hobbies, and a deep depression. It's incredibly hard to deal with.

Sadly ur right there ive been digging an looking trying to find a way out its just so hard im just so afraid you know that its guna get to the point of no return   it just seems the more i try an tell people my true feelings its hard to get out or they just dont take me seriously I dont know who I am no more thats for sure an its effecting me gravely 

I love to game on xbox an colour but it's just so hard to keep focused an enjoy any of it 

This is the unfortunate reality of our situation. I believe professionals think they know autism better than anyone, when there really isn't enough research for them to be an absolute authority on how to help us. If there is research, they clearly aren't using it. Not every professional is like this, but it does take some time wading through the muck to find your people. You need someone who listens to you, clearly, and hears you, and understands you are a human being who needs help. You need professional help with your mental state, I can see clearly from your words. The fact you aren't getting it is a failure of the institutions that are supposed to help you, not a failure on your part.

I believe we know what we need better than anyone, if we sit and dig into our minds for a while, and find the core of what is causing our issues in the first place. Depression doesn't just fall out of the sky (I think), it has a cause, and dealing with that cause will reduce the depression, and make it easier to cope with.

For me, researching my mental state, and topics related to it, helped me put words to my feelings and experiences. You need to figure out how your brain works, and why it works that way. I hope you will be able to find for yourself a way to express yourself that satisfies your mind, and allows you some calm. Understand that human beings are not born depressed, we are made depressed by experiences with the world around us. As a result, we can become un-depressed with the right course of action. It will take a long time, Rome wasnt built in a day, but it is entirely possible. I understand how hard it is to work against executive dysfunction and deep depression, though. My words do not cover even one percent of how hard it is to deal with these issues.

It blows my mind how poor the NHS is, regarding autistic people, but it makes sense, given how isolated we are.

What are your interests? Are you too depressed for interests?

I hope this is helpful, and not vague or abstract.

Trust me. Nobody thinks you’re annoying - certainly not me and I suspect nobody on this forum

Thanks appreciate that.. even if i am annoying sorry.

We’re here to listen to you. We all have experiences to share. You’re not alone here

How are things today? Do you feel any better about things? 

Failure is not measured in a lack of achibments or progress but rather in not setting out to see things through of this takes years wirh lot of breaks so be it 

I started a music buisness 4 years ago I thought it had failed nope it had just give way for the little wins I need to set me up for a new buisness

in between find what ever brings you true joy so for me this can be trains buses music (pop punk or Taylor swift mostly) and classic tv sitcoms and general just finding new I for dump resources 

Ive tried to talk to my GP it gets me no where no one truly sits an listens to me, which is fine I get it at this point Im just a pain.. even the professional dont care they just pushed me aside to sometimes there's just no help I suppose.

Hang in there. I’ve been there. Being alone and misunderstood isn’t easy. I’m still trying to get my meds sorted properly. Please speak with your GP or a medical professional straight away. How can I help you? Rob

Hi Welshgirl87 , sorry to hear you've been struggling.   Sharon Mod has already replied with good advice and if it's urgent please do call your GP or a number suggested.    It sounds as if you've really been trying to resolve things.   But if it helps to think about it or write a little, is it a situation, or is it a relationship that's been causing difficulty, or generally lack of emotional or practical support (of course only say what you're okay with saying here)?  You might want to keep information private.  

Have you tried searching for an autistic therapist ?    I think there are more available now.

Sometimes it takes a while to find the right person to speak with in person, but if you search online you might be able to chat with some different therapists to see if they are suitable.    It might be possible to see them less than weekly if cost is an issue.    

It's not failure to ask for help but of course you might find it best to speak in person one to one.    It might be helpful to keep researching as much as you need to, to find someone, so that you have better chances of getting the right help, but remember to try to rest and speak kindly to yourself, as you would a good friend.

Examples of what you could put in the search engine on the internet: autistic therapist in my area, autistic therapy locally.   

I hope something said here helps, but write again if you need to.

Dear Welshgirl87

Thank you for posting and telling us what you are going through. We’re really sorry to hear that you’re feeling so overwhelmed and lost right now. It’s good that you’ve let us know how things are. Please know that you are not alone, many people have similar thoughts when battling with so much, and we hope you’re okay. People here care and want to help.

If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Please contact your GP and make an urgent appointment.

The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. If you are at risk of immediate harm, we advise you to contact 999 or one of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help page: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help

If you are not at immediate risk, we would still encourage you to speak to your GP or another health professional. If it’s outside GP hours, you can call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service. In England, Wales and Scotland, you can now speak with mental health professionals by selecting option 2 when calling NHS 111:
www.nhs.uk/.../

You may also find the following services helpful:

• Samaritans: Call 116 123 for free, 24/7

• SANEline: 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm to 10.30pm daily)

• CALM: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm to midnight daily)

• Shout: Text 85258 for free, confidential 24/7 support

• Mind Infoline: 0300 123 3393 (9am to 6pm, Mon–Fri)

The community is here to support you, and we hope you’ll continue to reach out.

Take care,

Sharon Mod