Published on 12, July, 2020
For about maybe seven months now, I've been using BetterHelp for private therapy. I can't say I've found there to be any progress, though I'm not sure I'm going in with the right expectations. My therapist tries to get me to reframe my thoughts. Use less negative language, try to imagine more positive outcomes to situations, that sort of thing. "What would it be like..." is her common language for this. To which my response is often along the lines of "Well that would be unrealistic because xyz". She also tends to point out my "yets" as hopeful, despite my assurance that it's just to avoid an absolute statement. I can't tell if I'm being too rigid and set in my ways, if her approach is ill effective for autism, or a bit of both.
For anyone that uses a therapist, how do you find your engagements with them?
I find it can be very easy to take responsibility for my difficulties, because the world has taught me that I am different and often wrong, and I've internalised a lot of this. Any relationship is at least two-way, and that includes therapy relationships. It sounds like your therapist hasn't found a way of working with you that fits in a supportive way with who you are, and I'm wondering if there's an option to try a different approach (with this therapist or another one). Also wondering if you have a sense of what you mean by progress - what would that look like for you? (You don't have to answer here unless it would be helpful). The Neurodivergent Therapists directory has some amazing people. Sadly the fees can be a real barrier but maybe worth having a look? I hope you find the right person, I've found it can be so transformative.