Really fed up

I've just been looking at clothes, and I can't find any trousers in my size and length and that are elasticated waist, unless I want to pay over £100, which I don't and can't afford anyway. I've looked at tops and can't find any of those either, they all look like they come to short in the body for me, I wish I could go to a physical shop and look at stuff and try it on, feel the fabric etc.

It's all got worse since covid nearly all the shops have closed down, if I do find an actual shop then they usually tell me they don't do my size but I can order online.

I feel so freakish, most of the time I wouldn't wear "nice" clothes as I only really do dog walking and food shopping, but it would be nice to have the options. This a recurrent depressing circumstance that happens about twice a year, all my clothes are falling apart or are to big, as I've lost quite a bit of weight. Why can I only get winter clothes in spring and summer clothes in autumn? Do they hide them all the rest of the year? I feel like I don't fit, physically in this world, I really envy people who can just go into any shop and find stuff that fits like it was made for them. I get fed up of cars that don't accomodate long legs like mine, that boast about flexible driving positions and I'd still end up sitting in the back seat to get my legs under the stearing wheel. It took months to find a sofa with a seat that didn't feel like sitting on a shelf.

I dont' want to go back to try plastic surgery to help with the scarring on my belly as the guy I saw was really nasty, obviously hated womens bodies, said I'd have to lose half my body weight and get rid of all my allergies before I could even be considered for surgery and not to try anyone else because they wouldn't see me either. He's just the latest in a long line of body shamers, like the bloke in a shoe shop who sneered at me and told me they don't do shoes in my size. The people who've told me to go on a diet because my legs are to long, I could go on but the list would be almost endless.

Thanks for listening to me dumping on everyone.