So exhausted..

Over the years I’ve managed to hold a job down and be great attendance but in the past two, I’m just so exhausted. I’ve heard fatigue and inability to cope can increase as you get older but I’m only 34. 

My job is very physical with lots of sounds, people and lights. Then my home life includes helping my sick mum with my 4 year old niece who has additional needs. I’ve attempted to look for other jobs, as I do have previous experience in administration but the jobs out there are not of this nature and are other warehouse work, factory work or caring work. I was doing a degree but due to home and work life, it’s something that I could not physically do.

I’ve reduced my hours to as low as I can financially afford. I have no life, I can’t even get the energy to do the things I like, such as something simple like reading. I keep having days off here and there, I usually use annual leave but some months are blocked at work so I have to take a sick day which is getting me into trouble. 

My mum isn’t very supportive of my needs, she was happy I gave up my degree so I could help her more. She’s not a bad person, it’s just if you’re tired then she’s ten times more tired. If you’re depressed then she’s even more depressed. 

I’ve tried to do the things that are suggested to alleviate burnout but I have limits as to what I can do due to my responsibilities. In reality I just want to go into a dark room and stay there for a month. 

Sorry this is a very negative posts but I tend to not interact with other autistic people. It was made clear to me growing up that I wouldn’t get special treatment, and that everyone struggles with something and they have to get over it so I’ve always just done my own thing, and relied on my own thoughts for support but I’m reaching breaking point.