Published on 12, July, 2020
Over the years I’ve managed to hold a job down and be great attendance but in the past two, I’m just so exhausted. I’ve heard fatigue and inability to cope can increase as you get older but I’m only 34.
My job is very physical with lots of sounds, people and lights. Then my home life includes helping my sick mum with my 4 year old niece who has additional needs. I’ve attempted to look for other jobs, as I do have previous experience in administration but the jobs out there are not of this nature and are other warehouse work, factory work or caring work. I was doing a degree but due to home and work life, it’s something that I could not physically do.
I’ve reduced my hours to as low as I can financially afford. I have no life, I can’t even get the energy to do the things I like, such as something simple like reading. I keep having days off here and there, I usually use annual leave but some months are blocked at work so I have to take a sick day which is getting me into trouble.
My mum isn’t very supportive of my needs, she was happy I gave up my degree so I could help her more. She’s not a bad person, it’s just if you’re tired then she’s ten times more tired. If you’re depressed then she’s even more depressed.
I’ve tried to do the things that are suggested to alleviate burnout but I have limits as to what I can do due to my responsibilities. In reality I just want to go into a dark room and stay there for a month.
Sorry this is a very negative posts but I tend to not interact with other autistic people. It was made clear to me growing up that I wouldn’t get special treatment, and that everyone struggles with something and they have to get over it so I’ve always just done my own thing, and relied on my own thoughts for support but I’m reaching breaking point.
I am absolutely exhausted.
Dollcollector2024 said:I’ve always just done my own thing, and relied on my own thoughts for support but I’m reaching breaking point.
I am glad that you felt able to reach out to our Community for support.
It suits some people to be independent and self-sufficient. However, every now and again, we all need some help and support from other sources too.
Although our Forum is not designed for us to stray into medical advice etc., I did find myself wondering if there might be a GP or Nurse in your local Practice or a local Pharmacist who you might feel comfortable talking to - just in case - to help you exclude some potentially straightforward medical considerations which could contribute to the levels of exhaustion too?
I was thinking about the importance of: quality of sleep, nutrition and hydration (as you do a physical job), and whether your physical body could possibly also be trying to give you the hint that it needs a bit of a GP / Nurse health check. They may also have some suggestions of support services which operate in your area.
It might not just be the role of Autism plus a physically demanding job. I can think of several work colleagues who felt physically run down and checked things out with their GP - only to discover something non-threatening and easily manageable which made a lot of difference to them when it was addressed with guidance from their GP. I am deliberately not listing "for instance" as that is not my area of expertise.
Add into the thought process that sometimes Autistic people may not always able to readily get information about the emotions they feel or feedback from their bodies about their body's areas of discomfort - sometimes you might need a healthcare professional to help solve the puzzle of tracking down potential causes of fatigue etc.
We are a mix of our Autism, our physical health and our mental health - across time, any one (or more) of those three key areas can impact upon our wellbeing - it is all part of being human.
You also mentioned some important additional carer responsibilities - supporting other family members - in many areas of the country there are support groups for carers (your GP Practice might know if a carers support group is available local to your area).
You have described doing your best with those competing work and home life duties and stresses - I want to repeat: you are doing your best (I hope you can give yourself the credit which you deserve for finding a way do that so far - as it is not a small achievement).
Rather than not expecting "special treatment", it might be appropriate to try and think of it more as: you owe it to yourself to reach out for help with supporting and maintaining your wellbeing?
I'm very sorry to read that you are struggling so much, but I identify with what you have said very much. As well as allowing yourself as much alone-time as you can get, I suggest allocating time (and energy, if you have it!) to a special interest. I find that having something to look forward to gets me through the grind of a working day. Sorry this isn't particularly profound advice. Please keep interacting with other autistic people to gain support and better ideas than I have shared here.
I don’t have much helpful advice but just wanted to say I feel for what you’re going through, burnout is so so hard, and harder when you don’t have support of those around you. Hopefully being able to vent/share here might help alleviate some of the pressure.
If you fancy it, you might like to update your profile user name so that people can better recognise you, as the autogenerated names are hard to keep track of. Just a thought