Published on 12, July, 2020
I always thought, I don't have ADHD, I'm not hyperactive. End of story! But looking into it, last few years, I see so many traits, it's shocking! Task Paralysis, sleep disorder. Mood disorders. I find out ADHD is very complex and multifaceted. And highly correlated with autism.*** Cause the NHS is nightmare and well...ADD. So I feel very normal and energized.So I'm alert and awake a long time. I feel invincible. No fatigue. Crazy robustness. Like how I imagine a trained footballer feels after 90 minutes, muscle might ache, but boundless energy. Super fast thinking, talking also, sharper processing ***.More willpower also. More extroverted. So I think, is this what it feels to be normal. I feel like I cut 20 years of my age again... it's weird.But i'm still angry, why should I have to damage my cardiovascular system JUST TO get a SEMBLANCE of normality. ADD is a thing I'm stuck with, and might not ever be able to fix. Even with Amphetamines, legal or otherwise, low dose, high dose. It's such a debilitating thing. And much like autism, This society does NOT GIVE A DAMN what happens to people with this. You're just a write off. So this leads to a VERY BIG chip on my shoulder. And i already have enough of them already. You cant SURVIVE in this world without discipline. Focus, attention and all that. Something nature has denied me.
ADD means I am at a disadvantage. And the NHS system is beyond broken and fairly unresponsive. It's an infuriating situation. And just a complete and utter joke that i am expected to compete with NT's in this cutthroat capitalist system.
[edited by moderator]
I think that an ADHD is complex, and the struggles you're facing are real. The societal neglect of ADHD and the broken NHS system make it even harder to manage. It’s frustrating to feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle just to function. You're not alone, and there are communities and resources that can help. Stay strong.
Thank you, kind words. i don't really deserve them...but thanks anyway