Published on 12, July, 2020
I was 19 when my mental health problems started and now here I am at 27. All that time wasted against myself. It kills me how my own mind can hate me so much.
I hate how during the passages of time I've changed in how I feel and how I am. Change is something that's affected my life greatly and in the last eight years I've lost people, people I loved and now looking back I realise I lost myself somewhere during the tragedy of those years.
I'll get there I just wish it wasn't costing me so much time. Until tonight I never realised how much times been wasted during this. The sad reality is if my mum hadn't died then none of this would have happened.
I'm so sorry to hear about the struggles you've faced with your mental health over the years-It's incredibly tough to feel like you've been fighting against your own mind for so long. Change can be a difficult and sometimes painful process-especially when it involves losing people we love. It's understandable that you feel like you've lost a part of yourself along the way-I've had much the same experience with my own mental health.
It's important to remember that healing and growth take time, and it's okay to feel frustrated with the process because it can be long and stressful where you feel you're getting nowhere-but you are making progress-you're still here fighting-opening up and you never need to apologise for opening up! It's a healthy thing to do. Grieving the loss of your mum must've been a devastating experience, and it's natural for such a significant event to have a profound impact on your mental health-losing my mum was the start of my mental health problems. Please know that you're not alone in this journey-so many of us can relate to what you've been through and how you're feeling. I hope knowing this will help you to feel less alone in what you're going through.
Keep moving forward-one step at a time-and be gentle and kind with yourself along the way. You will get there I promise. X
Thank you Paige. I'm sorry for yours and Kate Kestrels losses.
All your replies have been more than helpful and more than I deserve. I'm feeling more positive again this morning, last night was a bit of a blip but today is a new day.