Anxious State

I realise I might be starting to sound like a broken record on here () but I’ve struggled with severe anxiety for decades and tried SO many things (including anti-depressants which were disastrous for me and made me suicidal) - I’ve tried all the various natural remedies - so many things with not much success. But this year I’ve been learning all about Zen Buddhism through Thich Nhat Hanh’s teachings and it’s been massively helpful for me. It’s taken a few months of reading, listening to audiobooks and watching the ‘Plum Village’ YouTube channel - but over time I find it’s having such a stabilising influence on me. It’s changed my perspective on so many things, and slowly over time my anxiety is reducing. It’s taking time and involves some commitment - but I feel I’ve FINALLY found something that actually works. It’s given me so much hope that I can genuinely enjoy life again, and not be permanently anxious all the time. 
Of course I realise that everyone is different - and I’d never assume it will do the same for anyone else. But I want to share my experience on here because it might be helpful to someone. Living with anxiety can be so dreadful (many times I’ve felt I couldn’t go on because I was so totally depressed and exhausted with trying to cope with anxiety over decades) and to have found something that actually helps has been such an enormous relief to me. So if anyone feels they’ve tried everything and nothing has worked - then I’d recommend the teachings Thich Nhat Hanh. It certainly can’t do any harm - no side effects! 

Kate Kestrel said:

I’ve struggled with severe anxiety for decades and tried SO many things

Just adding my contribution here as I found a way to deal with this that works most of the time for me (may not be for everyones abilities though).

I looked at the issue and realised that it was my mind that was making me anxious so any response to it needed to deal with it at source (the point my mind started processing something that made me anxious).

I found that as soon as I felt the wheels of my mind spinning and the adrenilin rise from anxiety that I needed to challenge the part of my mind that was going "what it, what if, what if..." so I read up and found mindfulness was a good technique.

When this symptoms appear I make the time for a quick sidebar to use mindfulness and challenge my subconcious with rationalising the situation. Has it happened before, what happened and can I improve the outcome, is there a threat, how realistic is it and how can I sensibly respond etc.

Once I do a rapid situational analysis then I can shut down the part of my mind that is spinning by thinking "it has been analised and you don't need to do this anymore" and I can discipline the thinking processes to focus on something more productive.

It takes practice to over-ride the subconcious but the discipline to do this helps in so many other aspects of life where autism can intrude too.

I also use some meditation for downtime situations so I can slow the normally spinning wheels of the mind and get to a more relaxed state. This was a godsend when I used to be a manager of teams who were in dire straits and I was brough in to get them back on track, Stress from all sides, stressed staff and stressed upper management.

Being the oasis of calm amongst this helped bring everyone down to a level where the panic was leaving the situation and we could rationalise on our options and tackle to the tasks to get things back on track.

That doesn't mean I wasn't stressed but I could manage it from getting out of control and mask a better state to help others calm down.

It took me a few years to get good at it and I understand that not everyone has the capacity to do it.

Kate Kestrel said:

I’ve struggled with severe anxiety for decades and tried SO many things

Just adding my contribution here as I found a way to deal with this that works most of the time for me (may not be for everyones abilities though).

I looked at the issue and realised that it was my mind that was making me anxious so any response to it needed to deal with it at source (the point my mind started processing something that made me anxious).

I found that as soon as I felt the wheels of my mind spinning and the adrenilin rise from anxiety that I needed to challenge the part of my mind that was going "what it, what if, what if..." so I read up and found mindfulness was a good technique.

When this symptoms appear I make the time for a quick sidebar to use mindfulness and challenge my subconcious with rationalising the situation. Has it happened before, what happened and can I improve the outcome, is there a threat, how realistic is it and how can I sensibly respond etc.

Once I do a rapid situational analysis then I can shut down the part of my mind that is spinning by thinking "it has been analised and you don't need to do this anymore" and I can discipline the thinking processes to focus on something more productive.

It takes practice to over-ride the subconcious but the discipline to do this helps in so many other aspects of life where autism can intrude too.

I also use some meditation for downtime situations so I can slow the normally spinning wheels of the mind and get to a more relaxed state. This was a godsend when I used to be a manager of teams who were in dire straits and I was brough in to get them back on track, Stress from all sides, stressed staff and stressed upper management.

Being the oasis of calm amongst this helped bring everyone down to a level where the panic was leaving the situation and we could rationalise on our options and tackle to the tasks to get things back on track.

That doesn't mean I wasn't stressed but I could manage it from getting out of control and mask a better state to help others calm down.

It took me a few years to get good at it and I understand that not everyone has the capacity to do it.

This is a very helpful perspective for you to share Iain - thank you. I think the vast majority of autistic people have issues with anxiety - and more we can share ideas/experience of what has helped us the better. I think the thing about mindfulness is that it takes time and commitment - and in the past I’ve looked at it, found it not very helpful and ‘given up’. It’s not easy to work at things when you’re absolutely exhausted - so I think this is not uncommon for people to not stick with it. It was only because I was struggling SO much that I thought: “I’ve got to give this everything I’ve got because it’s more or less my last hope of being able to enjoy life again. So I’ve spent the last few months digging deep into the mindfulness teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh and Plum Village and it finally really yielding real progress - and everything I’ve learned tells me that I can continue to build on this. It’s SUCH a relief because i had almost given up hope of anything really making a difference.

One point I’d like to make is that it’s not just our own personal mindset  - there is a collective aspect to this, and we are all - to some degree - a product of the society and environment we have grown up in. A western capitalist society is inherently ‘unfriendly’ and inhospitable to a mindful, peaceful life. It’s also not an easy society for autistic people in general: it’s competitive, noisy, demanding - at times almost bullying to the more sensitive individual. So it’s worth bearing that in mind I think. We are not ‘broken’ - we are trying to cope in what is quite a toxic environment, and some of our anxiety stems from that.