Anxious State

There are ways to heal past trauma and suffering.  On the Plum Village YouTube channel they have many talks about healing trauma - I’d recommend them if you feel able to engage with that. I know it’s hard to look into these issues but the Plum Village approach is very gentle and sensitive to how much care is required when trying to find peace and healing from childhood trauma. Their talks about these issues helped me a great deal - worth a look if you’d like to give it a try. Good luck 

I believe I know my underlying issues. Anxiety, in my opinion, is another word for the voice of a person's inner child. My inner child is screaming and I cannot soothe them and do not ever think I will. Life is like a boxing match and I am down on the floor and cannot get back up. 

I’m curious about your comment ‘my life is almost perfect’ - that’s so interesting. Often anxiety is mirrored in by other difficulties we have in our lives. How is your life ‘almost perfect’ ? Do you mean in terms of  loving family, good job, security etc? Because usually anxiety is a result of underlying issues. Can you identify what your underlying issues are? 

Thank you for your kind words, I am beyond grateful for people like you who try to provide me with reassurance that everything will be okay But I do not have the energy in me to keep fighting an invisible enemy. My life is almost perfect, but I cannot enjoy it with this anxiety that has covered my life with a blanket of darkness.

These are such kind words - thank you. Like you I felt that I just couldn’t go on living with that level of anxiety - I have often considered suicide - not because I wanted to die (I very much didn’t ) but because I just could not cope with feeling so dreadful all the time, morning til night. I want to reassure you that there really is hope, I thought I was a lost cause after decades of terrible anxiety - but now I feel I have something that really can work. It’s no  ‘miracle cure’ and it takes time, but it’s made a huge difference to me. Good luck - we are always here for each other in this community so you’re not alone. 

This is a very helpful perspective for you to share Iain - thank you. I think the vast majority of autistic people have issues with anxiety - and more we can share ideas/experience of what has helped us the better. I think the thing about mindfulness is that it takes time and commitment - and in the past I’ve looked at it, found it not very helpful and ‘given up’. It’s not easy to work at things when you’re absolutely exhausted - so I think this is not uncommon for people to not stick with it. It was only because I was struggling SO much that I thought: “I’ve got to give this everything I’ve got because it’s more or less my last hope of being able to enjoy life again. So I’ve spent the last few months digging deep into the mindfulness teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh and Plum Village and it finally really yielding real progress - and everything I’ve learned tells me that I can continue to build on this. It’s SUCH a relief because i had almost given up hope of anything really making a difference.

One point I’d like to make is that it’s not just our own personal mindset  - there is a collective aspect to this, and we are all - to some degree - a product of the society and environment we have grown up in. A western capitalist society is inherently ‘unfriendly’ and inhospitable to a mindful, peaceful life. It’s also not an easy society for autistic people in general: it’s competitive, noisy, demanding - at times almost bullying to the more sensitive individual. So it’s worth bearing that in mind I think. We are not ‘broken’ - we are trying to cope in what is quite a toxic environment, and some of our anxiety stems from that. 

Hi Glitters, Thank you for sharing this with me. My anxiety is so overwhelming that I am struggling to see a day when I will be free of it. I have so much in my life for which I am so grateful really grateful, but cannot continue like this.

Thanks for sharing what's worked for you and I'm so glad it has worked for you BTW.

I've been doing some mindfulness videos what I've been watching on yt and that's worked a bit but hasn't made a life changing difference yet. 

I'm glad what you've tried worked for you I wonder if it would be the same for me. I do struggle with my concentration but I'm trying getting that more under control.

I hope you continue feeling less anxious. 

Hi,

I'm sorry your struggling with anxiety. Don't worry about not being able too word your thoughts give yourself time to process it all first.

Take it slow and give yourself time otherwise it's loads all at once. 

I suffer severe anxiety and I'm always on edge because of it. I started doing mindfulness and that's been helping. It's not a magic cure like but it's helping a bit.

I'm sorry I can't get rid for you but I can relate to how you feel and it sucks. At least we know we're not in it alone. 

Anxiety is challenging but you can beat it.

Hang in there.

Kate Kestrel said:

I’ve struggled with severe anxiety for decades and tried SO many things

Just adding my contribution here as I found a way to deal with this that works most of the time for me (may not be for everyones abilities though).

I looked at the issue and realised that it was my mind that was making me anxious so any response to it needed to deal with it at source (the point my mind started processing something that made me anxious).

I found that as soon as I felt the wheels of my mind spinning and the adrenilin rise from anxiety that I needed to challenge the part of my mind that was going "what it, what if, what if..." so I read up and found mindfulness was a good technique.

When this symptoms appear I make the time for a quick sidebar to use mindfulness and challenge my subconcious with rationalising the situation. Has it happened before, what happened and can I improve the outcome, is there a threat, how realistic is it and how can I sensibly respond etc.

Once I do a rapid situational analysis then I can shut down the part of my mind that is spinning by thinking "it has been analised and you don't need to do this anymore" and I can discipline the thinking processes to focus on something more productive.

It takes practice to over-ride the subconcious but the discipline to do this helps in so many other aspects of life where autism can intrude too.

I also use some meditation for downtime situations so I can slow the normally spinning wheels of the mind and get to a more relaxed state. This was a godsend when I used to be a manager of teams who were in dire straits and I was brough in to get them back on track, Stress from all sides, stressed staff and stressed upper management.

Being the oasis of calm amongst this helped bring everyone down to a level where the panic was leaving the situation and we could rationalise on our options and tackle to the tasks to get things back on track.

That doesn't mean I wasn't stressed but I could manage it from getting out of control and mask a better state to help others calm down.

It took me a few years to get good at it and I understand that not everyone has the capacity to do it.

Knowing I am not alone helps me so much so thank you!

Thank you for sharing this. May I ask, what medication you take? Unfortunately, I do not know whether I should have asked that question or not and if I shouldn't have, I am sorry.

Thank you for sharing this! Please do not ever feel like a broken record. Your words no matter how often spoken are valid and valued. Peace to you. I shall take a look at your suggestions as I am now at a stage of desperation. I cannot live in a permanent state of anxiety. 

I realise I might be starting to sound like a broken record on here () but I’ve struggled with severe anxiety for decades and tried SO many things (including anti-depressants which were disastrous for me and made me suicidal) - I’ve tried all the various natural remedies - so many things with not much success. But this year I’ve been learning all about Zen Buddhism through Thich Nhat Hanh’s teachings and it’s been massively helpful for me. It’s taken a few months of reading, listening to audiobooks and watching the ‘Plum Village’ YouTube channel - but over time I find it’s having such a stabilising influence on me. It’s changed my perspective on so many things, and slowly over time my anxiety is reducing. It’s taking time and involves some commitment - but I feel I’ve FINALLY found something that actually works. It’s given me so much hope that I can genuinely enjoy life again, and not be permanently anxious all the time. 
Of course I realise that everyone is different - and I’d never assume it will do the same for anyone else. But I want to share my experience on here because it might be helpful to someone. Living with anxiety can be so dreadful (many times I’ve felt I couldn’t go on because I was so totally depressed and exhausted with trying to cope with anxiety over decades) and to have found something that actually helps has been such an enormous relief to me. So if anyone feels they’ve tried everything and nothing has worked - then I’d recommend the teachings Thich Nhat Hanh. It certainly can’t do any harm - no side effects! 

Anxiety is a huge issue for me, as well.

However, I learned to manage it; in order to maintain some degree of function.

I am so sorry to hear this I suffer from Anxiety it is like a wave for me .I have found medication has helped with this and trying to reduce triggers that makes it worse.

Thank you Captain Grover. I hope it will be too! I am eager for a rest from this overwhelming anxiety. I love life and want to live it, but anxiety is holding me back. I understand my anxiety is my inner child screaming for a place that  is safe and for someone to hold his hand and tell him everything will be okay.

It would be impossible for anyone to give you certainties but, in my experience, anxiety comes and goes in waves or it simply becomes a low hum in the background for most of the time. Hopefully this will be your experience, too.