Published on 12, July, 2020
There seems to be two schools of thought on this: do it and do not. Many people say that everyone masks - autistics and allistics alike and I do think that's true. Most people have a work-mask, for example. Some autistics say that they are fed up of masking and want to stop, or have stopped, and that it's better for them.
I've come to the conclusion that masking itself isn't the problem. I think, at least for me, it's the motivation behind it that needs to be examined. Why am I doing it?
Where I'm going with this is that masking can sometimes, I think, be good. It can be protective for the individual and it can even be enabling. Exhausting, yes, but still enabling. But other times it can be bad. Bad for me, and it can lead to a bad outcome for others. An example, would be if you're a "pleaser". I find it hard to say no and I consider that a part of my masking make-up. I often want to say no, but cannot, and yet sometimes no is the right answer.
Maybe I need to be more mindful in my masking.... if that's even possible. Anyone have any thoughts on this?
Arise said:Where I'm going with this is that masking can sometimes, I think, be good.
Masking for autists is fundamentally a survival trait that allows us to not stand out too much and prevents us being victimised for appearing "odd".
When NTs are growing up they watch and learn much more instinctively than NDs - we tend to be sidetracked by sensory overload and interests that seem more imortant than just "hanging with my friends" and hence miss a lot of the situations where common behaviours are learned.
As we age the different situations socially and with more formal situations bring a whole host of different behaviours we are typically poorly adapted to and we have to conciously mask more. Standing out when not masking will often lead us to be excluded socially or not being able to keep the job (whether not passing the probation period through not being a "team player" or suffering anxiety / meltdowns from the energy used through masking / hostile environments).
If you have a situation where you can go mask-free then it is great, but most of us have found that ourside our home or family environments, this is not really practical all the time so we adopt a situational mask.
This means we behave as the situation requires, whether at work, commuting, at the doctors, at a funeral, on a date or whatever.
For some this is too overwhelming and for others it can be achieved with considerable overhead, but it allows us a way of existing in society or employment that enables us to have a more or less "normal" life.