Published on 12, July, 2020
I can only enjoy good things if I 'deserve' them, and that means I must either work hard before the good thing or be sad or tired before the good thing.
It doesn't make sense because people's worth is not in their productivity but my brain is still being difficult.
It makes it hard for me to take long breaks, more than one day of taking a break gets me all depressed and guilty.
And I always have a general sense of guilt for everything; examples:
I don't know how to change this. Is it my own ableism (like feeling bad for not having a driving license even though I know driving was overwhelming and stressful for me), is it something my parents taught me, or something else?
Any thoughts are appreciated. Thank you!
I persevered, and passed the driving test - aged 28 - seventeen years ago. I had to learn myself. My mother had a car crash twenty-one years ago which caused her to have Motor Neurone Disease. (I was always told it was Parkinson's)
People mature at different times. Don't beat yourself up; Bro.
Thank you, that's very true.