feeling like I don't deserve good things and an overall sense of guilt

I can only enjoy good things if I 'deserve' them, and that means I must either work hard before the good thing or be sad or tired before the good thing.

It doesn't make sense because people's worth is not in their productivity but my brain is still being difficult.

It makes it hard for me to take long breaks, more than one day of taking a break gets me all depressed and guilty.

And I always have a general sense of guilt for everything; examples:

• I feel guilty that I don't have a driving license, and when my mother drives instead I feel guilty and like I must do something in return (even though she has told me she has no problem with being my driver).
• I feel guilty when my projects are not perfect even though it was my own decision to not work on them too hard since it's not my priority in life.
• When I'm in a rut like now, I have a hard time being compassionate towards myself and like I don't even deserve breathing.

I don't know how to change this. Is it my own ableism (like feeling bad for not having a driving license even though I know driving was overwhelming and stressful for me), is it something my parents taught me, or something else?

Any thoughts are appreciated. Thank you!