Published on 12, July, 2020
A bit of alcohol is involved in this, so reader be aware.Feel like I don't have anyone I can trust. I've tried to open myself up to my dad a few times, but what I've learned is that he's quick to seek any option other than himself to help me. I'm no contact with my mother, and that about wraps up my family options. One of my best friends doesn't understand, and the other is in the same situation as me with no answers of his own. So friends are no help either. If I do anything other than pretend I'm fine, my dad's go to suggestion is to have me sectioned, which for those who don't recognise the term, basically means off to the psych ward I go as a lunatic.
I'm not fine. Every single choice I can make feels like it will only make things worse for me. That includes inaction. I legitimately cannot think of one single thing I could do that I believe would make life better for me.I currently live off of government benefits, but am looking to become self sufficient with no actual hope of success. I'm overweight, and struggling to fix this as food is basically the only dopamine source I have. I'm lonely, but lack the important prerequisites for companionship and refuse to be a burden on someone I might care about. A healthy diet and exercise takes months to show results, which is months more than my willpower can hold out on. Exercise takes eight weeks to show results. My current record when I was at my happiest for being able to stick to a workout routine was five. Now even one day of exercise and healthy eating feels like a mountain.
This is a lot of negativity, I know. But I don't have anyone I can talk to about this. So I guess I'm just putting feelings out there. Sorry to bum you out.
Oran G. Utan said:I'd like to make something of a career in writing, but a lot of that calls for at least a bachelor's degree
Some years ago I foudn myself hunched up in a tight space in the back of an old military jet trying to fix the starter circuit. I had no degree, and worse, no formal aircraft qualifications whatsoever!
I was there, not because I had a bit of paper that said I was qualified, but because I'd demonstrated ability and talent for the work.
For me, figuring out how to do something myself and practciing doing it thoroughly*, has worked every time better than formal training. And don't get me started on the money I wasted on Microsoft certification that frankly teaches nothing useful about how it works, but teaches you how they want you to think it works... Those course are for people who want to buy a ticket into a well paid job that will require update courses every other year for the rest of your life, which narrow you thinking ability each time...
Tehre's no qualifiction that bats an abilty to do teh work required better than most otehrs manage.
* "Thorough" is apparenlty our family motto on my grans side, and she passed it on to me around age six whilst teaching me to make smaller parachutes than she used to during the last war.