A bit of alcohol is involved in this, so reader be aware.
Feel like I don't have anyone I can trust. I've tried to open myself up to my dad a few times, but what I've learned is that he's quick to seek any option other than himself to help me. I'm no contact with my mother, and that about wraps up my family options. One of my best friends doesn't understand, and the other is in the same situation as me with no answers of his own. So friends are no help either. If I do anything other than pretend I'm fine, my dad's go to suggestion is to have me sectioned, which for those who don't recognise the term, basically means off to the psych ward I go as a lunatic.
I'm not fine. Every single choice I can make feels like it will only make things worse for me. That includes inaction. I legitimately cannot think of one single thing I could do that I believe would make life better for me.I currently live off of government benefits, but am looking to become self sufficient with no actual hope of success. I'm overweight, and struggling to fix this as food is basically the only dopamine source I have. I'm lonely, but lack the important prerequisites for companionship and refuse to be a burden on someone I might care about. A healthy diet and exercise takes months to show results, which is months more than my willpower can hold out on. Exercise takes eight weeks to show results. My current record when I was at my happiest for being able to stick to a workout routine was five. Now even one day of exercise and healthy eating feels like a mountain.
This is a lot of negativity, I know. But I don't have anyone I can talk to about this. So I guess I'm just putting feelings out there. Sorry to bum you out.