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Should I be authentic or keep a low profile?

Snowcake

I’ve done the RAADS-R assessment and scored 142, so it’s highly likely I’m autistic. There’s a wait of at least 10 months for an official diagnosis in my NHS area, so I self-diagnosed after doing several online assessments, but I was told the RAADS was the most accurate. My question is, I’m 68, and I’ve evidently been boring the pants off everyone  during my lifetime with my constant conversations about my obsessions. I’m currently getting my head around the fact that I probably have autism. I feel a bit stunned, but many things now make sense. What are everyone’s opinions about being your authentic self (babbling included) or continuing to try and mask and not talk so much? My instinct is to crawl into my shell and keep quiet. I don’t want to be an irritation to people I know.

I’d be interested in your views on this.

  • in reply to __Pathfinder__

    Thanks for your feedback, _Pathfinder_ Slight smile

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Thanks for the recommendation, Number Slight smile

  • I would say what do you hope to achieve from it.  Peace of mind, knowing or recognition that you have this particular upgrade over NT's? Stuck out tongue

    When I did mine I got a piece of paper and yes I could use said piece of paper to force an employer to conform (and many didn't before that for other issues, so I am yet to see whether it is worth the cost of printing).  No one treated me any different after it, my parents still deny it, my sister bregrudgingly accepts it and the rest of my siblings, well I honestly don't care what they think.

    You survived for 68 years by learning to adapt.  if people find you boring, well you can't please everyone. Slight smile

  • in reply to Snowcake

    Fwiw, of all the billions of self-professed people who can "help you" online with "all matters autism" (none of whom connected with me and my feelings)......I personally found the truth and authenticity of Temple Grandin to be very helpful to me.  No sham, no show.....just a thinking man's wise person....who told me how I was.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Thanks for your insight, Number. I’m a dudess, by the way. I’m not finding it easy to come to terms with my self-diagnosis, in any way, but I’ll plough on, regardless 

  • Dude (or dudess).....you're 68, so you already know the correct answer?

    Tis neither one nor tuther......but an unholy mix of the both!

    I have learnt (through experimentation) that caution and stoic restraint are safer than "loud and proud" for our generation.  Moreover, please prepare yourself for the fact that nothing (tangible) will change if/when you are formally "labeled" or otherwise.

    I wholeheartedly recommend making peace with your own resolution about yourself......and trust me....that ain't as easy as I make it sound!

    Godspeed.

    Number

  • in reply to Sparrow

    Thanks so much for replying, Sparrow. I retired two years ago, so I don’t have to worry about whether to say anything to colleagues. Your insights have made me feel better about my decision to carry on masking with most people and to watch my tendency to drone on about stuff.

    Hope you have a great day tomorrow Kissing heart

  • This is a pertinent question for me, going through diagnosis at 59. Everyone thinks I'm a different person to the Sparrow I really am. Little do they realise....

    I suppose the answer is - it depends.

    So far my attempts to tell my friends and family about my diagnosis have not gone terribly well. So for the older ones - I'm not going to bother and will mask on. However with my close friends I'd like to be honest about what life is like for me, why I'm often too exhausted for Parkrun on a Saturday or why I want to leave a social event early or not go at all, and absolutely do not want to sing solos, without people thinking it weird.

    Work is a mix as they're open to reasonable adjustments (alternative means of communication than the phone, for example). But I don't think unleashing the whole, hitherto unseen, flapping, pacing, echolalia enjoying Sparrow would be very fair on everyone else.

    PS I also have to be hyper vigilant not to bore everyone senseless. I see no point or interest in small talk but understand that others prefer lightweight stuff to in depth conversation, much to my endless disappointment.

    PPS My diagnosis is through Right to Choose, as in my area the wait is three years. I asked my GP last October and completed the assessment in early January. I used Skylight Psychiatry but there are lots of others.