Published on 12, July, 2020
Lights, sounds, smells, everything is extra intolerable lately. I cant seem to make myself do stuff, I cant make decisions. I feel tired and am getting headaches. Words are harder. I keep almost having meltdown/shutdowns (just today I felt like a meltdown every 30min). Im exhausted
I want it all to stop, I want to take a break from everything but I cant. I have homework, I have school, on friday we have an assembly which I always get overwhelmed at but im scared ill have a full on meltdown because I seem to not even be able to handle everyday stimuli so how could I survive a room with hundreds of students with everyone screaming to get hyped for stupid turnabout dance
I started feeling like rubbish for a couple weeks but then the last 3 days have been absolutly unbearable. Why is life so hard
Took me 21min to type this (not even that long of a post...)
Hi. I'm so sorry to hear how difficult you're finding things of late. I go to school and can understand a lot of what you're saying. Have you spoken to the school counselor, if your school has one? Also if you talk to your teachers and ask for some extra support they should oblige and cut you some slack. How you're feeling is legit and you need to be supported with your struggles throughout the difficult times. Don't suffer in silence it could lead you to burnout or worse. The time of year makes everything worse imo, I think things will look and feel better when the weather is warmer and brighter.
Hang in there. You'll get through this and you will feel better. Time heals.
Beanie said:Have you spoken to the school counselor, if your school has one? Also if you talk to your teachers and ask for some extra support they should oblige and cut you some slack.
I havent. Im not great at talking to people (if I manage to talk at all)
It's the same for me - the curse of autism, being unable to talk most of the time! - I write down what I want to say to my school counselor and she writes back as she knows it is easier for me. You might find that easier, I did for sure a lot easier. Our school had an email system too a few years ago but it's gone now unfortunately.
Oh don't worry about being taken seriously. They will listen to you, it's their job and they have to take you seriously and will be as supportive as possible. That's been my case with my own. Just having someone know how things are has helped me a lot. It's a weight of my shoulders and I think if you choose to write to yours it will be the same for you too. Remember you're 16 now, school is a lot harder now than it was 10 years ago for you and the counselor will be aware of this as well.
You don't have to write to the counselor, maybe write to yourself first and see how that works out for you and then you can take that in to the counselor if you decide to see one in the end. That's something my counselor suggested I do and this has also been helpful for me. It's a way of getting my worries and negative thoughts off my mind.
Give it a try and see how it goes. You have nothing to lose by trying this. Hopefully it will be useful for you.
Thats a good idea, but do you think theyd even listen? I dont have a doctor diagnosis and to them I did just fine with the other 10 years of school, so id probably just be making it up or being lazy. I know people here say self diagnosis is valid but I feel like if I dont have an official diagnosis then nobody will listen.
But I think ill give it a try. I just have no idea what ill say