Published on 12, July, 2020
Today was my first day back to school since my winter break. Yesterday I was nervous because I wasnt sure what things would change and what would stay the same. I wont go into detail of my day because 1, you dont care, and 2, I dont have enough words or will to write about it.
All day I just kept wanting to cry and right now I just wish I didnt have to live (im not su*cidal, I just dont want to). Ive realised that when I have school then im much less happy than when I dont. The thing is that today wasnt even particularly bad in any way, it was just a normal school day: got made fun of a little, anxiety, bright lights, loud shovey rude people, more anxiety. I havent eaten anything all day so maybe thats to do with some of it but I dont feel like eating.
I want to do school. I like learning, I like my teachers and even the students can be fine when they are nice and I can observe them interacting with each other but not me. But every time I have school then I just want to drop out. I wont because im too nervous to talk to whoever you talk to to drop out, and I know ill regret it.
But how the heck did any of you get through school every day? Im a bit nervous to post this because whenever I start talking about my problems then people get annoyed with me and stop being my friend. There must be some NT code about how much negative emotions youre allowed to share or something.
well at first i just suffered with school and put up with it, towards the last years of school i just skipped school each day, still went in the morning but broke out the back fence onto the fields and sat in a bush hiding for the rest of the day... was way better just sitting in a bush waiting for home time to go home and pretend i was at school rather than being in school loli found school pointless, its essentially just day care, the grades you get actually dont mean anything at all in the real world and you dont learn anything anyway and any grade given is false and made up.
How were you never caught? We have security cameras everywhere and the teacher takes attendance before each class so id be caught before I even got off school grounds.
Caelus said:the grades you get actually dont mean anything at all in the real world and you dont learn anything anyway and any grade given is false and made up.
Grades only mean something if you want to get to college I think.I do think we learn stuff. Maybe not stuff like how to cook, pay taxes, and other life skills, but we do learn maths and parts of speech (ugh I suck at parts of speech. why do we even need to know what part of our sentence is a predicate adverb? Idek if a predicate adverb is a thing lol) I do like learning, I find it fun
Grades are usually based on a rubric so the only way its random is if you have Mr S my english teacher. He actually put all out essays through an AI grading website and put whatever grade it scored.. And he is just... well ive complained about him before so I wont do that again