Published on 12, July, 2020
There is a behaviour that happens on this forum and it is worse than trolling because the poster may or may not be genuine, and you care about them but then no matter what you suggest to try help them they won't accept it. They might as well preface their original post with "whatever you say I have accepted my fate and it is bad, it just sucks to be autistic, you should feel bad too" and have it over with.That may not be their intention, but we know intention counts for nothing compared to the result. So here it is the lesson learned today, don't wast your energy trying to help those that don't want to be helped. Yes you are right to care, yes you are right to be confused but you need to recognise the cut off point.You cannot save a drowning man by reaching out to him if he won't reach back. For our own sakes as autistic people we need to maintain our own emotional energy, and self preservation is not selfish.Yes there was a specific incident that set off the need to post this, but it's not just about one person, there are others who have and will come in here and engage in this behavior. And whether they mean to or not it harms the community here because it creates the same effect as feeding-the-doom-trolls-comes-at-a-cost and takes it's toll on our collective mental health. It's great to care, I wish more people cared, but please keep yourselves safe and healthy first.
Let me share an anecdote from real life (not internet !). It concerns a neighbour I had at my previous address. She was passing by while I was feeding/weeding the lawn with a combined weed/feed granular product, carefully measuring the amount I was applying to each square metre. She walked straight into my garden and demanded to know what I was doing, she then demanded and insisted that I write down the name of the product and the name and address of the shop where I bought it.
A month or two later we met on the street and she gave an earful, shouting at me that the stuff I recommended for her was absolute rubbish and that she found a different product in a different shop which was cheaper and much better.
A couple of years later I was painting my wooden window frames, again, this lady was passing and walked straight into my garden demanding what I was doing and demanding/insisting that I write down the exact name of the product and the name and address of the shop I bought it from. This time I carried on painting and told her to go away.
The lesson is that some people like to play games, by asking for help and advice just to annoy others.