Published on 12, July, 2020
I have struggled with depression for at least 5 years and only more recently diagnosed as autistic. I’ve been on two different antidepressants- Sertraline and citalopram- and I’m not sure if I can even tell anymore if I feel any better.
I’ve been told that I’ve most likely been in a state of burnout for a long time so i now don’t know if autism is the root cause of all the depression I’ve felt ( I know it has definitely contributed) so would antidepressants just not work in this situation? Or am I just finding it harder to tell if I’m doing better because I can’t identify may own emotions as easily? I know that I don’t feel ‘happy’ or stable yet but I can tell if my mood has improved at all because I feel like my depression has caused so much brain fog.
has anyone had similar experience ?
I've been on a few different antidepressants over the years before getting to one that worked for me, I am now on venlafaxine and mirtazipine, as well as propranolol for anxiety.
Whilst I now think some of my depression has been linked to burnouts in the past, it's not all of it and there's absolutely no doubt that the antidepressants have worked for me, as earlier this year I was suicidal and couldn't see a way out of the depression, spending days in bed or on the sofa, not being able to do any of the things I would normally do on a daily basis, let alone bigger things. Now I'm much better able to have a normal (for me) life, I'm going out more, seeing people and doing things, I'm going on holiday next month and am able to make plans and actually stick to them. I enjoy doing things again, and have the energy to be an active parent to my son and wife to my husband.
I don't think it's hyperbolic to say I wouldn't be here without antidepressants.
That being said, I know they don't work for everyone, and often it's a case of working through the options to find the right one for you if you're willing to try that.
Thank you for sharing your positive and important experience of them. I really do like to get a rounded picture of such matters.....and your report above is very helpful for that.
I am really pleased for you that things have turned out well for you all. Perseverance and hope pays off.
I'm finding as I gain more knowledge around autism in general and how I suspect it applies to me, that it has also helped with the easing of my depression and anxiety in conjunction with the antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication.
I now feel like I'm better able to understand what causes me to become more anxious in particular, but also what makes my depression worse, and to have strategies in place to help me deal with that.
I have also found a counselor that I work well with, which has turned the process into a much more positive experience for me than it has been in the past.
I feel that taking one single approach to depression and anxiety, and their autistic companions, burnout and meltdowns, will never be fully successful in helping people to cope with them. The medications by themselves can only get you so far, you also need to work on recognition of them happening, strategies that might help you stop them developing further, and also strategies to help you cope if you can't stop them developing.
There's no quick fix for any of this. I'm 20 odd years down the line from my first serious depressive episode, and my knowledge has been hard won through a lot of negative experiences. But, I have survived, and I live to fight another day, because I also realise that I'm statistically likely to have another bad episode again. But fight I will.
As we all are! And I suppose I sound more like this at different points too. I'm definitely working on finding strategies to improve things as well - in fact, I'm about to have therapy and discuss some DBT stuff with my therapist (seeing as I can't access the full programme). We can only do our best.
If you'd asked me earlier this year I wouldn't have been anywhere near as optimistic! But always a work in progress
I love this. I'm also 20 years in but striving to have as optimistic an outlook as you!