Mental Health following Diagnosis

indifference is kinda the norm and ok right?

because you dont expect total random strangers to jump up and care about everything you say you have... because that would be fake, id suspect number 1s of being fakers.... while number 2s being genuine.

think of it a random person just tells you they have adhd or something... your like... so what, alot of people do, its pretty normal especially from people who grew up in the 2000s when they mass diagnosed every single kid with that despite it mostly all being wrong diagnosed and ignoring the fact kids are energetic and lack concentration anyway making diagnosis of that impossible and unfair on kids.

plus indifference shows they dont care what you have, your still just a human to them, it makes no difference if you have this or that to them your just a human and nothing changes if you tell them you have something... this is then better than number 1.

now number 1 the type to jump up and make it look like they care... they are doing that to make themselves look moral and good, its all a weird social act. it can also be patronising like i said the indifferent one seems more accepting and doesnt care as to them your still human, while number 1 seems more the type to patronise and imagine your a hurt crippled bird and they are your saviour lol

I have found there are three types of people.
1) those who accept and understand
2) those who are indifferent
3) those who reject or are negative

You have to find a way to cope with all three types. My best suggestion is to be yourself, ignore the noise, and rid yourself of anyone toxic.

from where im from people only view autism as a kid thing... not as a adult thing. you even see that in diagnostics, they dont care about adults its all focused on kids and its very cringe. this whole thing then makes it so any adult with autism is viewed not as a adult but as infantile and then people dont look at you with much respect and view you as a type of person who would be watching childrens cartoons and throwing strops at everything... my parents even think to be autistic you have to *** and wipe your poop all over the walls... so yeah, when you appear normal and people hear your autistic it throws them off and confuses them, or they think they didnt know you and then suddenly think your the type of guy that would smear poo on the walls.

Thanks Iain, I'll take a wee break from posting to think about all this I think - lovely community it is here!

Eyes said:

I'm already starting to realise it needs to be for me and it's up to me to understand it

It is a slow process to take ownership of this process - be gentle with yourself and know there will be bumps on that road, but ultimately is is a path very much worth taking.

We will be here to share the journey and support when you want us, or to give you lots of metaphors... 

Thanks, that advice is really useful. I think I agree, no need to tell people too quickly, think I should keep it just for me for a while.

I'm too impatient to get things working well and it just takes time!

Thanks mark, I'm already starting to realise it needs to be for me and it's up to me to understand it. I think I've coped in life by seeing what others think and how they react and doing that too. I need to stop that and think for myself even if it makes me stand out.

I very much appreciate the responses it's really helpful.

There's no rush to tell anyone. Quite a few people didn't seem interested when I told them, maybe because they couldn't believe it or didn't know what to say. I might as well have just said "isn't it chilly today!" for the response I got and that was also with some healthcare professionals. With others, like colleagues I've learned upon telling them to back it up with "so i need help with / find XY & Z difficult". It didnt make much difference though. I think also, especially with today's culture, there might be a sense people don't want to offend so they don't respond much.

Despite the awareness, many still have outdated views and the other side is "oh well every ones autistic nowadays" - even if it isnt said directly. So quite often, we wont win. We are still the same person to them as before and after a diagnosis. When we spend so long searching for answers about ourselves and finally getting them, it's a massive deal to us but unless the other person is going through something similar they are not going to have a clue how this feels. A week or two isn't a long time. It takes time to integrate this new perspective into your life. Welcome to the team!

Hi Eyes, 

I was diagnised later in life about 2 years ago and i am still adjusting to it internally. 

At the time it was like seeing the myself and the world around me in a completely new light, removing a veil or something like that.

Like you i struggled to undetstand some people's reaction but i guess the world had not changed that much for them.

I continue to journey on in my new eyes wide open life which has brought positives and negatives. However, i know it is my reality which is so important.

God bless, 

Mark

That's grand Joe, I'm going to work on repairing my own battered self-esteem so I can learn not to put up with being belittled either. Thanks again.

Thanks! Some good came out of it as I went back and told them it wasn't a personal battle but a lifelong disability that I only just found out I had. It was the first time I admitted to myself or anyone else that autism is a disability. I've struggled with that post diagnosis and still getting to grips with it, trying not to be ableist to myself or anyone else.

What they had done in a short exchange was dismiss my lived experience, misinterpreted by intentions, refused to believe me and belittled me. I realised that had happened so many times through my life and I'm not going to put up with it any more.  So not all bad.

Hi Joe,

Thank you for your response. I suppose I don't know what I wanted to hear when I told my loved ones but I know I wouldn't have wanted to hear 'we all have our personal battles'... Sorry you had that and I wouldn't have liked to hear that either.

I suppose the initial lesson I've learnt from everyone on the forum is we have to first be ok with it ourselves. It'll take me a while.

Thanks again Joe.

Eyes

Hi Eyes,

I was diagnosed in January and for me the diagnosis made a heck of a lot of sense in how my life has gone.

I've had one friendship which didn't last when they said "we all have our personal battles" which I took exception to. 

Some people have been very supportive, another said it was "like I joined a cult" which we talked through somehow (although it's still not the same).

Family is weird as they don't really talk to me about it, I think that may be as they don't want to think about the traits we share and what it might mean for them.

For me, it's a roller coaster not a silver bullet, but at least I know what I'm dealing with now.

Thank you for this <3 I really apriciate it. 

Sounds like you are doing your best, and making your own path which is very commendable. This website and it's community alone shows there is support and understanding in this bannanas world, even when it doesn't feel like it or your going through some big stuff. Take it steady <3

Thank you very much for the message and links to resources.

Thanks Maggie, that sounds familiar. I'm starting to see it's similar with other people and perhaps it's time for me not to look to others to validate my existence but to use my own mind to go forward with what I want to do.

Really appreciate your response and for teaching me the term 'neuro-spicy'!

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts and experiences with us. It takes courage to open up about personal challenges, and I appreciate your willingness to discuss your recent autism diagnosis and the impact it has had on you.

Firstly, it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique, and people may react differently to the news of your diagnosis. While it's understandable to desire support and understanding from those around you, it's not uncommon for others to have limited knowledge or awareness of autism and its implications. It's crucial to give them time to process the information and adjust their understanding.

Feeling alone or isolated after receiving a diagnosis can be quite common, especially when it feels like others may not fully comprehend the significance of the news. It's essential to remember that seeking support from individuals who are knowledgeable about autism, such as professionals, support groups, or online communities, can provide a valuable network for understanding and acceptance.

Sharing your experience and seeking insights from others who have gone through a similar journey can be beneficial. Many individuals within the autism community have found solace and support by connecting with others who can relate to their experiences. Online forums, social media groups, and local support organizations focused on autism can provide opportunities for you to engage with individuals who have faced similar challenges and to learn from their experiences.

Regarding your mention of "mental health first aid," it's worth noting that while mental health first aid training can be valuable in providing support and guidance to individuals experiencing mental health challenges, it may not directly address the specific needs and experiences of individuals with autism. However, promoting overall mental well-being and fostering a supportive environment can positively impact individuals with autism and their mental health.

Some training provider is:

https://www.sja.org.uk/courses/workplace-mental-health-first-aid/book/adult-mental-health-first-aid-2-days/

https://www.mindmatterstraining.co.uk/mental-health-training/mental-health-first-aid-courses/

https://humanfocus.co.uk/e-learning/mental-health-first-aid/

In conclusion, it's understandable to desire understanding and support from those around you, especially after receiving a life-changing diagnosis like autism. While some people may take time to comprehend and adjust to the news, seeking support from professional resources and connecting with individuals who have gone through similar experiences can be immensely helpful. Remember, you are not alone, and there are communities out there that can provide empathy, guidance, and understanding.

Take care, and continue to reach out for the support you need on your journey.

My story is similar to yours. I persued a diagnosis for 6 months after many long years of depression, and job difficulties. I've been luckly to of found neurodivergent (aka neuro spicy) friends who are making their way through their jounreys which has helped. 

The first day I was diagnosed I was releived, felt validated. I appoligised to my kid self and felt this brought clarity. But the next day my head was crowded with new questions and new context, it really shook my boat. I couldn't work, be arround strangers. I just needed safety and quiet contemplation. This is the third day. I'm emotionally and mentally sore but making sure my self-care is met. 

My family are supportive but, as you've found, they dunno what it all means or how to react. Even my spicy Mum is like "yeah man, makes sense, that's cool though". I think it was always going to mean most to myself than anyone else. What I didn't expect was the word "disabled" and the legal disclosure which has me quite mixed up. I know it's all there for support. Its just very fresh. 

Hi Iain,

Thanks for your reply, I suppose my answers are:

1. No, not really. I suppose in reality I didn't want interest just people to talk to about it to help me understand. This forum seems to be working in that regard.

2. I'm still surprised by the negative reactions to a disability in life, I suppose I should have learnt my lesson by now.

I don't read your comment as harsh at all, just honest and helpful - thanks.

Eyes