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Mental Health following Diagnosis

Eyes

Hello,

I'm new to this community having being diagnosed as an adult with Autism recently, apologies if I get any terminology or anything else incorrect as I'm quite clueless on this at the moment.

It's just been a week or so but it's been difficult since in my mind. I feel surprised at how people don't really seem interested or want to know more (aside from my partner.) It's probably arrogant to expect people to want to talk to me about it but I'm just surprised they haven't really and feel a little alone with it.

I suppose it has been quite important for me to find this out and it's a huge deal for me, I burnt out a year or so ago and was out of work for 3 months, been confused and lost for a long time with depression.

I suppose it's solipsistic to expect it to be as huge for others as it is for me but I'd welcome reading others experience of how others reacted to their diagnosis and whether ultimately that was really important to you or not.

Thanks for reading.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Hi Number,

    Thank you for your perspective, it was really helpful to read. 

    Cheers

    Eyes

  • Eyes said:
    I feel surprised at how people don't really seem interested or want to know more

    I have two thoughts around this:

    1 - Do people actually really care that much anyway about stuff going on in your life?

    I expect most people have their own issues and attention focuses so expecting them to want to spend their time to fnd out more when in all probability it just sounds like an illness to them is not likely to happen.

    Do you want to hear chapter and verse about it when they have something happen in their lives? Quite possibly not unless you really care about them.

    2 - Autism is classed as a disability and has a lot of negative connotations for people who are not well informed about it.

    Many people still have the image of a non verbal autistic person when they hear about autism so it is quite common for people to think you are either misinformed or you are something they would rather not associate with.

    Things are slowly changing but I expect this will be a generation in length to get to the point where autism is well known about in the mainstream and people respond in a useful way for us.

    I hope this doesn't come across as harsh - I am trying to explain what I have experienced when going through the same process.

    Don't expect sympathy / allowances for your diagnosis, but rather use it to educate yourself and take more control of the narrative.

    It does get better.

  • Hello again Eyes,

    Generally, I found that either people did not care - or else certainly did not wish to discuss it.  A couple of people cut me out of their lives completely upon hearing my news (that surprised me and hurt......a lot !)  I went through a few experimental phases of "trying out" new stuff with my new-found knowledge....but found that my aspirations for a new "autistic life" were a bit vacuous.  Generally, I have found that expressly mentioning autism is a recipe for confusion and complication in dealings with others.  Accordingly, I've settled back down and now (outwardly) find myself basically "being" the same unusual person that I have always been, but with one very important difference = I am calmer in a way that I did not think possible.  It does now all make sense.

    I have found this forum to be populated with many people - all different.  I think we have a commonality of lived experience that enables us to know that we are not alone in our own weird ways and individualistic wonders.  We all communicate differently but seem to often share a common 'mode of thinking'.  Some bona fide madness permeates between some of us - and there are some undoubted bonds of friendship between some of us too.  This forum is a good place - I agree with Debbie.

    Bedtime.

    Number.