Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone.
A wonderful friend of mine suggested posting here in the hopes that I can find some advice.
My thoughts are running so fast that I'm struggling to start. I'm struggling with everything right now, to the point living is just too overwhelming. I'm failing in my home life and failing in my work life. It feels too impossible to get through it, though I know there must be a way through, I'm just not able too see it.
I'm currently on the waiting list for talk therapy, for the 3rd time, this time to ascertain whether or not the pins and needles in my mouth and side of my face is due to anxiety. I can't talk to a GP anymore, I don't want medication it makes me feel really unwell. I don't want to be sent contact details of Samaritans, or any other groups, again. That's not helpful. I really don't like asking for help, I've been conditioned to believe that's wrong. And I'm falling down a black hole and can't see a way out.
I've lost myself, not that I've ever really understood myself. I'm only eating once a day, a small meal, and I think it's my way of gaining some sense of control.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I apologise for the very long and pointless post.
Hi Pikl,
Your post is definitely not pointless. Over the last few days i have posted many times about my own issues and later thought the same, but noone here has ever made me feel that my thoughts and feelings are not valid. Even if perhaps my train of thought is not entirely accurate.
I understand the feeling of falling through a black hole. I too have always had a 'busy brain'. It can be very hard at times cant it? Racing thoughts and worries that just keep coming and circling. Sleep is almost impossible. I am the same in that my appetite is the first thing to suffer as well.
I am sorry to say i dont know how to fix it. Just always feel it is ok to post how you feel on here. There will be no judgement. At least that has been my experience. I wish you luck and hope you can find a way out of the blackness.
We are a little broken family here. We are the special ones, you included.
Thank you so much Dogtooth, that really means a lot to me.
A busy brain can me a nightmare at times. It's full of conversations I've had and may never have, chatting with myself, random trains of thought that I'm half exploring and anything else my brain can include. It gets so noisy that my ears hurt, just like I'm in a noisy environment. And anything I hear or read appears as images, fun and also upsetting.
No wonder sleep feels like a myth. Is this the same for you.