Published on 12, July, 2020
Im going to university in september this year and Im very anxious about going. Part of me is so hopeful about starting a new life with new people and new experiences, but part of me dreads that I just wont make any friends and Ill be alone and friendless. Im very bad at talking to new people without masking heavily, and Im also bad in new places and situations, like clubbing and drinking - the stuff you do at uni. I know that I can access support from student welfare but Im scared that it wont help me in the way I need to be supported. Is there any advice on making new friends and managing a new situation like uni that anyone knows?
Hi, I am autistic and whilst there were challenges I can confidently say that going to university was the best thing that happened to me!! I was so alone at school- a real alien and I just couldn't connect to anyone. At university I made a few very close friends- We just connected and making friends happened almost effortlessly at university- which is crazy considering I had none at school. I finally met likeminded people at university. I'm so happy that I went.
Also I have to admit that I never went out clubbing and drinking and still don't: There was one disastrous exception of me entering a club but not drinking... and one disastrous pub crawl. After a LOT of convincing I once entered a club, lasted for less than 30 minutes (i cannot tolerate the crowds and noise) and I didn't drink. I also went on a pub crawl once in Fresher's week... though again I did not drink and I swore that that was the first and last time. I thought I had to try and be "social" in Fresher's week but that didn't really get me anywhere and for me the best strategy was to try and be myself :). I didn't have a single drink while at university and it wasn't a problem- most of my friends don't drink either. So I think if clubbing and drinking is not your thing, I wouldn't worry about that at all! I met most of my friends through shared interests (scientific talks) or through my course (including through always being late... haha, one of my friends and I always seemed to turn up to lectures at the same time... 5-10 minutes after the start so we got to know each other- I'm not suggesting you should be late for lectures ;) though I do always say the first 5 minutes are overrated but I have no evidence to support this claim as I was never there...).
For me it was so much easier to connect to people at university than at school and it made me realise that I just hadn't met anyone I could connect to before. It's so much more likely that you will meet people that you have shared interests with at university than at school so I think your chances of making friends at uni are so so much higher than ever before :). Also there will be plenty of extracurricular activities and clubs to join (for anything you can imagine ...) if that is your thing- I know that at my university people would even start a new society if there wasn't one yet for the thing they were interested in. I personally didn't really join that many extracurriculars (I probably wish I had taken advantage a bit more of the opportunities and maybe withdrawn less)- but things still worked out ok for me and I met some friends :) I feel very lucky that I got to go to university.
I wish you a good time at uni!! Out of curiosity, where are you going to uni and what subject will you be studying?
Thank you so much omg! This seems so helpful and Im actually really excited to go and leave my school days behind. Im goning to go to Leeds Arts university to study fine art!