Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago aged 35. Currently I am really struggling to cope with existing. I am probably described as low functioning. The very basics, such as making food for myself, overwhelms me. I need a lot of care from my partner and he runs the house.
I used to be good at some things, especially after understanding my diagnosis. I could focus on something and steamroll through it. Projects. I’d get good ideas and I’m a perfectionist so could execute them well. But now I am nothing but distracted, disjointed, and feel pressure on me from all sides which is uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable to be awake. I don’t know who I am. I struggle to leave the bed, let alone the room.
My diagnostic team gave me good care and a follow up appointment, but say they cannot help me any further. I don’t know where to go for help on how to live as myself and how to not be in mental pain every day. I just don’t feel like I should exist. Everything is wrong and I’m screaming inside.
I have been turned down for an ADHD assessment after my diagnostic team referred me due to scoring very high on the preliminary test. I feel like the symptoms I struggle with in the moment are ones linked to ADHD rather than autism. But no one will help me. I’m making my family sad by slowly declining more each week it seems.
Who will help adults with autism? I need help with overcoming food issues as well. I struggle to eat balanced food or eat at all sometimes. And just eat chocolate. I am so lost and know I can’t kill myself because I have children. Who can help me? I don’t have a regular GP and our appointments are done via email.
When I feel like you just expressed, I tell myself two things.
1. I've been here before, it always passes after a while, I know it can be endured.
2. I also tell myself that NO, no one is coming to help me, I need to snap out of this and get on with things myself! I find a small target and just go for it. anything to start establishing a pattern of doing constructive or joyful things again.
You KNOW you can do some stuff better than the others, and although most of it seems useless and unwanted, sometimes being you can "save the day".
I've started forgiving myself for my useless days, but acknowledging them as well. Seeing them pile up makes me want to do something about it. and that saying life begins at forty? It's true, all you have to do is get there... (I'm not saying what sort of life begins at forty, as for me it took another couple of decades to wangle a bit of happiness and contentment, but I'm glad I stuck at it)
If no one comes and rescues me I'm doomed, I'll just die
Thank you - that’s really interesting. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts about this.
It isn't liberating it is frustrating and frightening I have had too.much hell in life I've had enough
I need some help now
I'm Just waiting to die otherwise
Probably gonna run out of money at some point anyway
All I have left is tidying
Help from council with house, keep telling mental health services but they just want to give me tablets the state of house isn't helping but it's not 100% my fault me and dad looked after my mother for years , she had bipolar and it was hard to live with and keep house tidy
I have been trying for months to tidy but barely made a dent, I want to sell the house and move on but gonna take years for me to do on my own
Just to get an idea of who I'm talking to. I remember being thirty it was really, really rubbish!
So what sort of help do you need?
In my thirties why
How old are you Steve?
That's an area of life I don't think I've had much experience of.
I've experienced extreme fear quite often in my youth, and I believe that is similar. I find that first giving myself time to cope, then applying logic and talking to myself reassuringly beats fear for me.
There's very few situations where I cannot elect to do nothing for a while "until I've got a handle on this".
I remember getting stuck up a rock face in the army, I'd looked own rather stupidly and become transfixed by fear. I've always been afraid of heights. I told myself that I was actually O.K. "just where I am" and I made myself feel secure in being just where I am. The sergeant started asking me if I was O.K. (from way down there) and I told him "yes, I just need a pause". And it turned out that was all I needed. That and to work out that I HAD to keep going eventually, so I may as well get it done now....
I think If I woke up in the morning having panic attacks, I'd work out a strategy to give myself some "time to waste" first thing. I had a problem waking up fed up and depressed, so I set the clock early to give myself some time to skulk about without any external pressures on me to be nice.
I don't think that's as good as a reply from someone who knows that feeling exactly.
I also have the advantage of doing yoga when I was about ten and playing with hypnosis when I was in my early teens.I can pretty much instruct my body to RELAX, when it needs to. It's been a handy skill.
I need people to stop giving me tablet and actually help me move on but I'm getting no practical help
Hi I Sperg, I don’t suppose you have any advice regarding waking up in the morning and feeling panic/having panic attacks? Every morning when I wake up this is happening to me and I could really do with some strategies to help with this. Any advice is welcome!
We are all doomed and we are all going to die, Steve!
The question is what do we do in the bit in the middle?
I used to have your perspective, but once you realise that no-one is coming to your rescue it is very liberating. You don't have to wait about for a start... (Then people sometimes actually start helping you. Life's odd like that)
I'd be happy to talk about why you feel like that either here in the open or via the private messaging system.
SOME problems have relatively quick solutions once you know the "trick", I'm always happy to try and help where my experience and advanced age gives me an advantage that others do not have. Some of the stuff I know took me fifty years to figure out!