I’m I the only one who CANNOT DANCE?

I watched this video about stimming this morning and the person that made it likes to "stim dance" ie make all her favourite stimming movements to music- It made me think of your post so here you go in case you are interested :) 

Stimming | What's That? - YouTube

Absolutely.  I feel a sense of shame about the act of dancing as if I am letting myself down, shedding too many clothes.

I also find crying traumatic.  Is it related?

allergic psychological reactions to:

1. crying 

2. dancing 

Maybe it undermines my ability to focus on the music? 

autism is about focus a practise for my entire life and dancing goes against that practise.

I think I shall practise dancing privately as an exercise in change and I’ll see if it opens up other benefits. 

I don't think I have ever, in the dim and distant past, outright asked a girl to dance. So you are braver than me. I have been dragged onto the dancefloor a few times by girls, however. Some of the very few occasions when I was able to work out that I was being found attractive by someone.

I do read music and was in remedial classes for I don’t know what? Strangely I think it was for not joining in, I can read but have only read two books in my life. Audio books have opened up my insomniac life. Concentrating on reading while brain is in overdrive is always hard. A stutter was part of my childhood, anxiety along with questions being asked brings it back. I love anything to do with solving codes or sudoku.

How interesting. Just flip flopped. A lot of good points here though . there’s many aspects of my autism that it could be from. (And such is my life these days haha)

i never could read music either. Reading in general isn’t my strong suit.. it’s come up as I make my list of qualifiers or potential qualifiers and I remember I had to take a reading class back in elementary school. Me and a few kids with speech impediments which I don’t think I had. I was never good at reading but I also remember not being sure why I needed to be there in that class. I really hated it. Especially the special attention from the teacher they’d work with us one on one, full attention. Hated that. With reading music it’s just as hard AND youve got to keep tempo! 

Joyful movement! This jogs my memory. Once I’m really comfortable in a relationship I’ve been known to playfully dance. Just goofy moves- Nothing I would have ever before considered to be acceptable in public, but my concept of what that is is changing as I settle into myself and understand myself better. And boy does it feel good, you’re right! Hard not to laugh or smile when I’m doin it

There could be a link here. Sometimes (when I feel comfortable with the people around me or I'm sure the people I don't know are too intoxicated/involved in their own stuff to notice me) dancing for me feels like stimming! I love dancing - especially with swinging or bouncing movements, repeated again and again. I love to just go all out with it and that feeling of my body releasing energy in time with music!

I cannot dance to save my life, as it were. My balance is absolutely awful and I fall over enough as it is. Dancing is not for me. When listening to upbeat music, however, I love to tap my leg - it makes the music so much better - it helps me to express my joy with the song.

When I have been in situations where dancing is socially acceptable such as club or bar (which is not at all often) then the thought of it is just really uncomfortable - the loud music is already stressing me out and then the close proximity to other people makes it even worse - so I don't do it. 

To some degree, I don't understand why people dance - let's say in an informal setting. Dance as an expression of art, social meaning, and collective identity is understandable and interesting to me though.

- Sp. Oc.

I can't even remember the last time i tried to dance. I know when i was younger we'd go clubbing down town and the mate i was with had to almost force me. He'd say something like ....... those two over there, you have the little one and i'll have the blond. Even then over 40yrs ago i hated having to approach a girl. That was long long before i realised i was autistic. I'd always want to dance with someone in the middle of a crowded dancefloor, 'cos if you were near the edge 'everyone' could see you and be watching you.

My musical ability does not extend further than my throat. I can sing fairly well, but any musical instrument requiring manipulation is entirely beyond me. I have always been highly repressed at dancing in public, but with increasing age and a decreasing interest in what other people think about me, I have found that I have a natural gift for dancing, especially to Soul Music.

I am the opposite way round, I can dance well as long as I don't have to co-ordinator with others but can't play music for toffee and no matter how hard I try can't read music (it's the dyslexia, I can't see which line the note is on without getting out a ruler and counting, lol).

But, yeah your aversion to dance could be to do with your autism and your particular sensory profile. something in your proproception and/or balance could effected. 

I can co-ordinate me, but not in relation to objects, so can't drive or hit a ball with a bat, even though I can dance.

Then, of course, dance is a social experience, so some of us will feel awkward about that even if we can move well to music.

also theres no reason in it... theres no function in it, no purpose of it. so its redundant movement that honestly makes anyone doing it look more mentally impaired than anyone else.

dancing is cringe, correct. it never looks good even on anyone and makes them look like dorks and kills any image of coolness they ever had.

I just connected a dot with some personal research about stimming. As a late diagnosis person I’ve spent 28 years learning to look normal. I can’t help but wonder if my not allowing myself to dance is synonymous with my not allowing myself to stim . Like they’re on in the same. Repressed physical expression. 

I can relate in a couple of ways on this one Roy. For one I’m not a sports gal myself but I think it has more to do with the team aspect than the coordination, personally. 

but I hear that loud and clear with the needing of liquid courage to even consider attempting such things like nightclubs or anything like that. I’m coming up on my second year of sobriety after 10 years of drinking and using and my autism is presenting much more clearly now that I’ve removed substances. I helped me chameleon and also gave me a different title to hide behind. “Addict” it explained everything. It became the reason why I didn’t show up. Why I didn’t stay if I did.. it really lowered expectations for me which I appreciated a lot seeing as I had this phantom incapability which I couldn’t seem to express to anyone. 

anyway that’s a whole tangent in and of itself but I understand the need for alcohol to tolerate. 

Yes that resonates/is helpful to hear. I never went to any of the school dances in middle school or highschool. Like I was avoiding the plague. What’s even more interesting is the social expectation for one to attend. I always understood the importance of keeping up with social norms and always struggled with that. And yet I was willing to see past that expectation and not attend. It was simply THAT unappealing to me. Nearly torturous. 

thanks for chiming in 

Dancing is always awkward as it means that I’m having to attend something that I’m really not wanting to be at. The stress is already building then. I have to use a lot of alcohol to even think of it. The same is with any sport mostly including a ball of any type. My sons often take the rise out of me, kicking, hitting , catching  and throwing a ball is never going to happen. Throwing a ball normally has a distance of about 2 metres!

I don't know if it is an autistic thing but I would also feel super awkward dancing - it wouldn't even cross my mind to try at this point (I think the last time I was meant to was possibly in some kindof school related setting- I don't think I have ever tried it when on my own). 

I do like music though- I used to play the violin (from age 4) and I love singing. So I think liking music does not necessarily mean liking to dance... 

I think the record time I ever survived in a setting involving music and dancing (a nightclub) was under 30 minutes and that took a lot of convincing and it will be the first and last time ever for me (too loud, too many people, too much of everything...). So I am in awe of anyone who manages to cope with and even enjoy such events :) 

Sorry, not sure this is of any use.