Mental health

Hi Emily,

I'm so sorry that you are going through everything so strongly and regularly.  I am going to share a list of things that have helped me in the past and what helps me in those moments now:

1. Most of my issues in my 20s were exacerbated by my hormones.  I eventually had my ovaries removed but had to wait until now in my 40s because despite my sensitivity to hormone fluctuations and my decision in my 30s that one child was enough for me, the GPs were not allowed to undertake the procedure until I was no longer of child bearing age.  I suffered from severe PMS and the removal of my ovaries helped dramatically.  Your cycle may be something to look into to see if it correlates with your moods?  I kept a PMS mood diary as suggested by the G.P and it was concluded that after all other treatments, this was the only option left.
2. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) works on reframing your thoughts.  Taking the thoughts, thinking of a positive version and coming up with a balanced conclusion at the end.  This is a very simple overview and varies according to the practitioner and other therapies and perspectives that they deem "fit" the patient.  I've had some cracking counsellors throughout the years and am currently on the waiting list for help through psychology.
3. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy that works on eye movement and how this helps the mind process and work through complex trauma.  It is another possibility to try.  I've not tried this as of yet due to finances.
4. EFT (Tapping therapy) is a therapy which involves tapping on various points of the body whilst verbally working through problems.  I did this in a group and alone.  I found the group brought out a lot more emotions in me but I felt calmer afterwards.  When doing the therapy myself I was able to cry more which I felt helped because I see tears as healing for me as an individual.
5. Aromatherapy This is something I find very useful that I have not been able to have due to COVID.  I am a trained masseuse but can't work in this due to allergies.  The good thing about my training though is that I learned deep pressure massage helps with my mental health.
6. Diet/Exercise/Nature I'm sure you know all of this, eating better and connecting with nature as much as possible definitely helps the mind.
7. Samaritans I often have suicidal and overwhelming thoughts which is where I contact samaritans.  It gets it me out of my head and allows me to talk without fear of hurting another persons feelings.  I'm sure you'll have tried this too.
8. Self harm alternatives I pace up and down and do full body shakes and close my eyes.  I feel that my overwhelming feelings come from the environment so closing my eyes shuts that out and shaking gets rid of the adrenaline built up from being terrified.  This is a personal thing I've never told anyone.  

I understand all of the challenges you describe as my Dad was diagnosed Bipolar and had all of the pain you describe.  From being on here however, I strongly believe that his diagnosis was wrong and therefore his medication and treatment programme also not helpful for him.  I am not a therapist and do not know you as a person but I know the pain you are experiencing inside which is terrifying and ongoing.  I try to focus on trying to get through each moment when everything is closing in around me.  Try to not act on impulses of suicide just a little longer.  Make the impulse to phone someone you can trust or do something to stop yourself because your life is worth the fight.  There will be little things that make you feel a little less overwhelmed, try to do these (as long as they are not unhelpful and destructive) and take everything at the speed you can deal with.

You have taken this step to post this.  If all you can manage is to say/type help, take that step to reach out and ask.  People want to help and will try their best as many people understand the pain you hold inside and that in itself connects you to us.  Stick with little steps and take your time.  Pain has a way of changing, like the weather.

Thanks for trusting everyone here with your feelings.

Sending hugs and strength.

Hi Emily,

I'm so sorry that you are going through everything so strongly and regularly.  I am going to share a list of things that have helped me in the past and what helps me in those moments now:

1. Most of my issues in my 20s were exacerbated by my hormones.  I eventually had my ovaries removed but had to wait until now in my 40s because despite my sensitivity to hormone fluctuations and my decision in my 30s that one child was enough for me, the GPs were not allowed to undertake the procedure until I was no longer of child bearing age.  I suffered from severe PMS and the removal of my ovaries helped dramatically.  Your cycle may be something to look into to see if it correlates with your moods?  I kept a PMS mood diary as suggested by the G.P and it was concluded that after all other treatments, this was the only option left.
2. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) works on reframing your thoughts.  Taking the thoughts, thinking of a positive version and coming up with a balanced conclusion at the end.  This is a very simple overview and varies according to the practitioner and other therapies and perspectives that they deem "fit" the patient.  I've had some cracking counsellors throughout the years and am currently on the waiting list for help through psychology.
3. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy that works on eye movement and how this helps the mind process and work through complex trauma.  It is another possibility to try.  I've not tried this as of yet due to finances.
4. EFT (Tapping therapy) is a therapy which involves tapping on various points of the body whilst verbally working through problems.  I did this in a group and alone.  I found the group brought out a lot more emotions in me but I felt calmer afterwards.  When doing the therapy myself I was able to cry more which I felt helped because I see tears as healing for me as an individual.
5. Aromatherapy This is something I find very useful that I have not been able to have due to COVID.  I am a trained masseuse but can't work in this due to allergies.  The good thing about my training though is that I learned deep pressure massage helps with my mental health.
6. Diet/Exercise/Nature I'm sure you know all of this, eating better and connecting with nature as much as possible definitely helps the mind.
7. Samaritans I often have suicidal and overwhelming thoughts which is where I contact samaritans.  It gets it me out of my head and allows me to talk without fear of hurting another persons feelings.  I'm sure you'll have tried this too.
8. Self harm alternatives I pace up and down and do full body shakes and close my eyes.  I feel that my overwhelming feelings come from the environment so closing my eyes shuts that out and shaking gets rid of the adrenaline built up from being terrified.  This is a personal thing I've never told anyone.  

I understand all of the challenges you describe as my Dad was diagnosed Bipolar and had all of the pain you describe.  From being on here however, I strongly believe that his diagnosis was wrong and therefore his medication and treatment programme also not helpful for him.  I am not a therapist and do not know you as a person but I know the pain you are experiencing inside which is terrifying and ongoing.  I try to focus on trying to get through each moment when everything is closing in around me.  Try to not act on impulses of suicide just a little longer.  Make the impulse to phone someone you can trust or do something to stop yourself because your life is worth the fight.  There will be little things that make you feel a little less overwhelmed, try to do these (as long as they are not unhelpful and destructive) and take everything at the speed you can deal with.

You have taken this step to post this.  If all you can manage is to say/type help, take that step to reach out and ask.  People want to help and will try their best as many people understand the pain you hold inside and that in itself connects you to us.  Stick with little steps and take your time.  Pain has a way of changing, like the weather.

Thanks for trusting everyone here with your feelings.

Sending hugs and strength.

Hi H, thanks for sharing your list with me and being honest. It helped a lot thank you. I'm sorry about what you went through that must have been tough and I can hear that it must still be hard for you at times. But thank you. I never thought that maybe my cycle might play a part so next time I see my gp I'll mention this. Thank you.

Another member also suggested some of these so I'll mention to my gp about that as well. Can only help me at this point.

My diet is poor. I eat and drink very little, I try to get more in but I struggle with this and it's resulted in admission to hospital for fluids many times. I am trying harder tho to eat better.

Yes I've emailed and phoned Samaritans many many times. It's a helpful service.

Aw thank you for sharing that. I really do appreciate it. And next time I'm feeling that way I will try what you do and see how I get on with it.

I'm sorry about your dad and that he may have been misdiagnosed as well. I hear that's common for so many people. Wrong tho it shouldn't happen. 

Thanks yeah I'm the same taking it one day at a time and trying to ignore the impulses and just enjoy life and what I have. Not always easiest thing to do but if I don't try then I'll not get better.

I will reach out but it's hard finding people who understands. That why I came here because there's people who feel the same and know how it is.

Thank you for your kindness and support. It means a lot.