Published on 12, July, 2020
This might be a sensitive subject for many.
Please do not take the following question as a personal judgement, I am honestly trying to understand so that I can try to improve my empathy and compassion, and possibly find ways to help people along the way. I also get it if it isn't something you're happy to talk about.
It seems there are many people out there, and on this forum, suffering from low self esteem and self loathing.
Where does this come from?
Does it come from:
I am genuinely interested, as it's something I don't think I have ever experienced.
I'm sure I have had anxiety at times, but I'm not really able to to apply names to feelings, so I don't really know. My partner has said that I can be emotionally insensitive because I try to rationalise everything. But I have also been told that my blunt, rational, and sometimes cynical approach has been helpful at cutting through the noise.
Although I've been bullied, embarrassed, ostracised at times, although life has been difficult, and I can be self critical and insecure, I don't think I've ever felt loathing or worthlessness.
Maybe it's because I'm very insular in my thinking, that I haven't paid too much attention to the real world, and therefore shrugged off much of the sh*t that's thrown at me.
Again, I'm genuinely interested as I would like to understand people better so that I can help people better. But this part of the emotional spectrum is truly a foreign land to me.
I find it sad that so many people are suffering in this way, and like to understand why it is.
Thanks.
Once we get into the negative thinking, we can get stuck and obsessed with negativity. The glass is always half empty. We can always see that things should be done better. We feel responsible for all this negativity. The car isn’t as clean as it should be, my clothes aren’t as smart as they should be, I should have worked harder or I should have been at home more for the children’s welfare, I should have spent more time to improve fun and enjoyment rather than always working late….. it never ends
Thanks for the insight.
Yes, I have negative thoughts too, and I can end up in negative feedback loops. But I still don't think I equate that with self worth or self image.
I think I view emotions as just thought processes that can be controlled or rationalised. Our emotions are not us, they are what happens to us, sometimes out of our control.
So:
Does that thing matter to me? No
Does it matter to me that other people think that thing is important? No
Yes, I do feel better when I succeed, and I do feel worse when I fail. But those feelings are fleeting.
Do you think a lot of it is to do with people taking responsibility for things that are not of their making?
I'm mean, taking personal responsibility for external factors that are completely out of our control. Sometimes bad things happen to us, but that doesn't mean it's our fault.