Do you like to hurt yourself?

I enjoy exercising which is painful but there's a sense of relief and joy after. Some people enjoy eating spicy food which is painful but euphoric. I would caution you against doing self-harm that can have bad long-term effects or that could result in permanent damage to yourself though.  

Please call Samaritans if you ever feel this way again.

I have self harmed in the past, I cut my arm a few times but mainly I would put cigarettes on on my skin. Scars from decades ago are still there. 

I can appreciate why you do it and the se sense of relief it can bring you, and in a strange way it can become an addiction. But as I'm sure you'll be aware it's not healthy and there are better coping mechanisms you can use.

I hope this doesn't come across as judgey because it's not intended that way and I'd be a hypocrite if it was, it's just out of concern that you could do yourself some damage beyond what you intend. 

It sounds like you really do want to hurt yourself both inside and out :( 

I know some people hurt outside to care for themselves inside. Is this what you're aiming for? Or is there a degree of self-hatred/self-disgust going on.

I hope there's a part of you Clara that is feeling ok through this.

I used to self-harm so I get it. But please please find less harmful ways to self-soothe! Have you tried blasting loud music and dancing round your room? Sorry if this isn't helpful, but this helps me sometimes when I'm freaking out...

Hi Clara, I totally get what you're saying. I've dealt with self-harm for many years. However, as good or helpful as it might feel in the moment, it really is never the answer. Burning your skin with toxic chemicals and repeatedly shining bright lights into your eye can have very very harmful effects. A good tip is to maybe do something that causes a bit of pain but doesn't have the power to properly hurt you...some people hold ice against their skin - that gives that burning sensation without using anything dangerous such as fire or cigarettes or chemicals - or wear elastic bands around their wrists and sort of ping it against their skin to create a bit of a sting? You could try having a cold shower? I've heard of those ideas working for people. The elastic band thing worked for me. Sending you best wishes - you are precious and don't need to harm your body!