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Did I loose my mask after a mental break?

Pax
over 3 years ago

My question is, having Recently researched Autism I had a lightbulb moment, is it possible I lost some of my mask during my mental break or healing process? I know I still mask sometimes and to some extent but I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this or thinks this is likely?


Background for those interested

A few years back I had a mental breakdown after years of struggling with depression and anxiety, at the time I had no idea what was going on and why I didn't seem to fit anywhere and was just broken but having finally started to get answers (ADHD and likely Autism), its raised a few questions about the way I act now vs before. 

Before the breakdown, most people would have thought I was mostly normal, with the possible exception of being a bit obsessive on some topics and missing the odd social cue and being quite introverted. This came with a massive toll on me and I would have to spend a lot of time recharging between social events and came with a lot of anxiety which I now know is likely because I was masking.

Immediately after the breakdown people expected me to be odd, and I was, but I started to heal and thanks to a supportive family, I found work I enjoy and a way to exist that is reasonably low stress and although I have a lot of anxiety and social issues still I'm happier now than I have been for most of my adult life. The problem is my family and friends all seem to think I'm still broken and have approached me saying I don't look right, stare off into space, don't emote correctly, among other comments, and they do things like tell me to cheer up when I'm perfectly happy and the like. 

Parents
  • over 2 years ago

    Long-term, constant masking is unsustainable and leads to burnout and health problems. Your family and friends don't seem very understanding - are they aware that you are on the spectrum?

    I can kinda relate, I was a very heavy masker pre-diagnosis and then had a mental breakdown after years of losing jobs and other problems, and now I just can't be arsed with masking. I feel a lot happier.

  • over 2 years ago in reply to violetdr3amer
    violetdr3amer said:
    Long-term, constant masking is unsustainable and leads to burnout and health problems. Your family and friends don't seem very understanding - are they aware that you are on the spectrum?

    I only found out I was likely on the spectrum last week when told by a psychiatrist who has assessed me for ADHD and I old told my family today after I was able to talk to the doctor and get the ball rolling for an assessment. So no they didn't which is very likely where the problem as stemming from.

    violetdr3amer said:
    I can kinda relate, I was a very heavy masker pre-diagnosis and then had a mental breakdown after years of losing jobs and other problems, and now I just can't be arsed with masking. I feel a lot happier.

    Thanks! This outright explains what I feel at the moment, I still mask in a lot of ways but it's much less complete, and I generally drop it in the house where the family see me (hence why they think there's something up)

  • over 2 years ago in reply to Pax

    I only mask around new people or people I don't know/who make me uncomfortable. I tend to come across them very rarely because I live a pretty hermetic life.

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