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Did I loose my mask after a mental break?

Pax
over 3 years ago

My question is, having Recently researched Autism I had a lightbulb moment, is it possible I lost some of my mask during my mental break or healing process? I know I still mask sometimes and to some extent but I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this or thinks this is likely?


Background for those interested

A few years back I had a mental breakdown after years of struggling with depression and anxiety, at the time I had no idea what was going on and why I didn't seem to fit anywhere and was just broken but having finally started to get answers (ADHD and likely Autism), its raised a few questions about the way I act now vs before. 

Before the breakdown, most people would have thought I was mostly normal, with the possible exception of being a bit obsessive on some topics and missing the odd social cue and being quite introverted. This came with a massive toll on me and I would have to spend a lot of time recharging between social events and came with a lot of anxiety which I now know is likely because I was masking.

Immediately after the breakdown people expected me to be odd, and I was, but I started to heal and thanks to a supportive family, I found work I enjoy and a way to exist that is reasonably low stress and although I have a lot of anxiety and social issues still I'm happier now than I have been for most of my adult life. The problem is my family and friends all seem to think I'm still broken and have approached me saying I don't look right, stare off into space, don't emote correctly, among other comments, and they do things like tell me to cheer up when I'm perfectly happy and the like. 

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    I feel quite to same to you I'm only recently diagnosed with ASD about a month ago now but I had a bout two months before where I was just in a really and place mentally which lead me down the road of research and I discovered I was autistic, and got my diagnosis to confirm and since that point I feel very different.

    It's hard to put my finger on it exactly, I recently said in a another post that I almost feel like I'm not not the same person as I was pre-diagnosis, I have learnt so much about my self during my research, during the diagnostic process and still am now. And I really am different to who I was before.

    I've had the same experience as you from my mum in particular noticing things about me, how I'm behaving etc. I've been finding in a way it's a bit harder to mask because I'm so much more aware of self now which is crazy because I was super aware of myself before too it's just another level.

    O

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    I feel quite to same to you I'm only recently diagnosed with ASD about a month ago now but I had a bout two months before where I was just in a really and place mentally which lead me down the road of research and I discovered I was autistic, and got my diagnosis to confirm and since that point I feel very different.

    It's hard to put my finger on it exactly, I recently said in a another post that I almost feel like I'm not not the same person as I was pre-diagnosis, I have learnt so much about my self during my research, during the diagnostic process and still am now. And I really am different to who I was before.

    I've had the same experience as you from my mum in particular noticing things about me, how I'm behaving etc. I've been finding in a way it's a bit harder to mask because I'm so much more aware of self now which is crazy because I was super aware of myself before too it's just another level.

    O

Children
  • over 3 years ago in reply to O

    I'm not sure this is quite what I meant above however, I do recognize what you're describing here, I went through some of it when I got my ADHD diagnosis and it seems to be happening again now. Once the people around me know what's going on I end up acting more as I do in private. I suspect with me it's because of the slackening of the social pressure to "Act normal" and I have to say it makes me feel better that I can openly fidget and stim without the comments which were always my hardest part fitting in.