Just wanted to say hi.

Hi to all you lovely people, I think I am going to feel at home in this forum as I can relate to a lot of what is discussed.

I have not been assessed or diagnosed with autism but recently had an enlightenment.

I am male and fifty four years old. I read an account of a lady who was diagnosed at fourty plus years old. Pretty much her life was much like mine. I was overcome with emotion as I read her struggles. First happiness then anger then a feeling of loss? Basically I cried my eyes out and blubber like a child. My mind was desperately trying to come to terms with the realisation of why I had struggled all my life to just co exhist in this world. I do not intend being formerly diagnosed. It has changed my life in that I find myself being more me. Instead of constantly adapting to fit any given situation. Honestly I don't really know who the real me is?

so that's me in a nutshell.

  • Hi Lonewarrior,

    I have been referred, assessed and diahnosed and all that, but I can very much relate to the enlightenment factor you write about.

    An Aspergian friend told me I should get diagnosed in 2007, and gave me book to read in order to further make the point. It was about a man, diagnosed young unlike myself, and was about his journey going through university and getting seriously high qualifications in mathematics. Firstly I do not do mathematics as I have no talent there at all. Secondly, he had all the support he needed in situations that I had no support in but needed, and aside from those minor differrences we were so very much alike in our tastes and habits it was astounding, really astounding. I was really excited about it.

    So I spoke to my psychologist about this, who basically ignored me and did that behavioural 'oh no not another one wanting to be something that ther're not" sort of thing, and that was that. I talked to my next psyhologist about it, who said it was really interesting but was only actually interested in doing the session without considering it. So several months after that ended, I mentioned it again to my GP who said, "Oh my god - why did we not spot this before!" I was tempted to ask him about that, but I was getting referred and a couple of years later was diagnosed.

    Before the diagnosis itself, I had decided that my original diagnosis could well be the case, and the diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome might also or not be the case. I was completely neutral about it. Then the diagnosis happened and that was a major category one revelation in itself - my whole world perspective changed massively. So I just withdrew from the world very much indeed and adjusted to it all according to my individual needs. About a year later I went and brought a book by an Aspergian American man - and had a major laughing and serious crying experience and everything in between; very much seemingly as you describe.

    As far as the 'real-you' thing goes, one wisdom head said, "You are other than you pretend to be." Following this theme on a bit - Charles Dickens wrote (in his book, A Tale of Two Cities) A wonderful fact to rely upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other. If that helps any?

  • Hi, step mother of a newly diagnosed ASD 16 y/o girl. Her big sis is diagnosed ADHD. Both girls have a diagnosis of dyslexia. I have a diagnosis of DCD/dyspraxia. My partner's psychologist thinks that he's likely dual diagnosis ADHD/ASD. I've got more family on the spectrum than not.

    Whereas my family worked out that you supported each other to function inspite of difference, my SOs family was not great and without his Dad would have never done as well as he did. His ex has been actively oppositional and disruptive of the girls getting help. So a new diagnosis in my family of origin is greeted with "what's the plan", but with SO and his girls we've had to work through the grief of missed opportunity and misunderstanding.

    I say that a diagnosis needs to serve a purpose. So the girls get support at school because of the diagnosis...and that's why getting it formalised was important. My SO and I are reflecting on whether getting his ASD diagnosed serves a purpose above and beyond his existing ADHD diagnosis. My DCD diagnosis was quite by accident through a work colleague having an interest in adult presentation of the condition...but I wouldn't have sought one from scratch as I already had good coping strategies.

    I would recommend any of Tiny Attwood's books on ASD to get a full understanding of your insight. Be kind to yourself in the process.

  • Hi Lone Warrior, I am new here, as yet uncertified. I really express myself through my poetry, it works for me. Have a gander at what I have written here on this site, I would be interested in what you think. I am a 52 year old male. Finding and being the real me is all too new for me at times. 

  • Thank you for the welcome,I have been reading lots of different experiences since being on here, it amazes me how much I can understand the situation being discussed. Where have you all been all my life, as I said if it were not for my daughter posting the ladies account of her late diagnosis I would never have known. As time goes on and I try to explain to my work mates and family who I am and why I act the way I do I get two main responses, some say "you can't be autistic as you wouldn't be able to talk" or "oh that means you cannot interact with anyone" what utter nonesence, I make a point of educating them of the many varied Levels and abilities each autistic individual could have. After explaining the common behavioural patterns the pennie drops and they then say well that certainly fits you. My wife bless her has reached a point of exhaustion as I seem to go on and on and on about it! She is right of coarse but that's me all over, I become obsessed with understanding anything that interests me, no matter what it may be, it came to a head when trying to explain empathy to her and the way it works, like a fool I called her a neurotypical,I wasn't trying to upset her but she felt strongly about it citing we are all different! Kind of missed my point about minority groups as opposed to fitting into the broad spectrum of normality As society see it.

    all is well now mainly as I had a melt down and said "right forget it I won't mention it ever again.

    my understanding from my own perspective is I want to help anyone who needs it and get very upset at seeing any form of suffering. 

  • For quite some time I have been searching to find out my first ever post!

    I wanted to celebrate my first year as a member, I missed the date but now I can put that right.

    Finally I think I have found it, typing my user name came up with many results but no matter what search criteria I used it didn’t allow me to find the actual first post. I stumbled upon this as it came up with my first ever reply from DeepThought, an amazing individual who has helped me and so many over the time he has been here. I hope he is well and able to read this even if you are not quite ready to reply then thank you for all the understanding you have given me.

    And so the date DT replied was 15th June 2017 at 4:23 am, not an uncommon time for some of us to be online and I would like to say a big thank you to all the people who have helped and given me much guidance and understanding over the last fourteen months.

    Long may it continue and I hope I can also continue to give my take on what life is like being autistic.






  • Greetings "LoneWarrior", and welcome to the Forum! 

    ...Seriously, though, I had also thought about starting a Thread upon "First Posts/First Threads", but the thing is, not everyone knows how to copy/paste Links. Also, I know my own First Thread, but not my own First POST. Also, I am not good at chat, for I get waaay too nervous - especially this time of year (School Holidays). Also... a lot of other reasons, mostly technical and personal...

    There IS another certain "anniversary" of a Thread which I have thought about instigating/trying, however... Clues are: A Thread started by NAS, very long, sometimes frustrating, and has its "Birthday" upon the 23rd August... And the Title starts as "Online Community"...!

    Apart from all of that, of course I am glad to see you Posting again (yesterday also), and Good Fortune to Yourself from Myself. (But I still do not "chat" for now! Sorry... *wimper*...!)