Hi from Male 51 Waiting for Diagnosis

Just wanted to check in as I've just joined and say hello to everyone. I'm a 51 year old male who is awaiting a diagnosis. My first assessment (NHS) is due in 3 weeks but have been waiting since October last year although it feels like forever. The wait has been particularly hard especially as during that time my mother passed away. I hadn't told her about me suspecting that I am Aspie but would have done if I was diagnosed as it would have explained so much about the past for both of us. I suspect that both she and my Dad (who died back in 2013) were also on the spectrum but I'll never know now.

My biggest worry is that I'm not diagnosed... even though from everything that I've read on Aspergers the 'fit seems so right'... as having gone though life not fitting in and being excluded from so many groups it would be typical for me to also be barred from the 'Aspie club' too. I'm hoping the NHS has improved since I had my first breakdown aged 14 when I was 'diagnosed' if you can call it that with School Phobia and put on Diazepam for 18 months... not a great experience and even worse coming off them! Since then I've tried to fix myself or gone to private therapists as I lost faith in the NHS, but its only in the last couple of years since I have become aware of Aspergers that I've wondered if I was actually just different and didn't need fixing at all.

It would be nice to hear back from anyone else who is going through or has gone through something similar.