Published on 12, July, 2020
Just wanted to check in as I've just joined and say hello to everyone. I'm a 51 year old male who is awaiting a diagnosis. My first assessment (NHS) is due in 3 weeks but have been waiting since October last year although it feels like forever. The wait has been particularly hard especially as during that time my mother passed away. I hadn't told her about me suspecting that I am Aspie but would have done if I was diagnosed as it would have explained so much about the past for both of us. I suspect that both she and my Dad (who died back in 2013) were also on the spectrum but I'll never know now. My biggest worry is that I'm not diagnosed... even though from everything that I've read on Aspergers the 'fit seems so right'... as having gone though life not fitting in and being excluded from so many groups it would be typical for me to also be barred from the 'Aspie club' too. I'm hoping the NHS has improved since I had my first breakdown aged 14 when I was 'diagnosed' if you can call it that with School Phobia and put on Diazepam for 18 months... not a great experience and even worse coming off them! Since then I've tried to fix myself or gone to private therapists as I lost faith in the NHS, but its only in the last couple of years since I have become aware of Aspergers that I've wondered if I was actually just different and didn't need fixing at all. It would be nice to hear back from anyone else who is going through or has gone through something similar.
Thank you all for taking the time to reply, its good to be around people who have had similar experiences. I'm in southeastern Staffordshire which seems to be badly lacking in services... there are localish support groups for ASD children and their parents... but for adults in my county the nearest are 30 miles away... other adjacent counties seem much better served... bit of a postcode lottery really!recombinantsocks yes I did a test a few moths ago... I think that one is the same one... and got 40 IIRC which is well on the spectrum I think. I have done other tests too all of which indicate I'm not NT.JBY really good to hear your relief at getting your recent diagnosis, I'm hoping for a similar 'weight of my shoulder' moment. I worked full time from 16 till I was 40 when changes in personel and working practices at work became too much and I left to become a househusband to my then 1 year old son. I've done some part-time work since then (which I struggled with) but for the last 6 years I haven't worked at all, luckilly my fab wife earns enough to support us all.
Hello,
Your post really struck me mate, I'm 48 and after 18 months of trying to get a diagnosis I had Aspergers confirmed yesterday.
I suppose everyones experience is different, for me I've got some understanding and some real closure on issues that go back 40 years from social difficulties, to obsessions, to my alcoholism and to the biggest issue i had during 2015 & 2016 which was a huge routine change in my job which dropped me slowly and painfully into a deep depression as a consequence of which I lost my job.
I always knew I felt different, even growing up, lots of different quirks and routines and meltdowns and tantrums, some serioudissues, some just plain hilarious I've lost count of the number of times we all had a good laugh yesterday it was surreal.
Yesterday for me was hugely emotional it was life God just explained my entire life to me - took long enough !
I hope you find what you are looking for.
Peace and love.
Thanks
Hi Jonsey,
Welcome to the forum, we don't bite (much) and a lot of us are in the same boat. I agree with Itsme - diagnosis doesn't change who you are. It can however give you some help in fixing some of your life for the better. I was diagnosed at 56 and have found it very illuminating and helpful. Also, like you I can see the traits in my Father's side of my family - it explains an awful lot of eccentricity (and worse) that had already been observed about things that had happened over the years.
Have you tried the AQ Test aspergerstest.net/.../ ? This is quite usefully accurate (it was developed by some autism research people in Cambridge).
Hi Jonsey
I was diagnosed when 55. It took a while, about 9 months from the initial referral. I think this varies according to which part of the country you live in. I had never really thought 'aspie' until about a month before my referral. I would have described myself as 'quiet, shy or introverted, a bit of a loner, timid, perhaps socially awkward and different'. These are adopted labels that meant something to other people. I suppose it helped them to place me where they thought I fitted in with them, but I have always been who I am. You are who you are. What is there to fix? You'll be exactly the same peron after a diagnosis as before. Yes, you are different. We all are.
I have found knowing I have AS has been a positive for me in one sense. I now know why I am different and can begin to understand the world I have been missing.
Well, good luck with your diagnosis.