Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi looking for some advice, my 5 year old child who has been diagnosed with autism. He is a lovely cuddly little boy who can at times get frustrated and lacks social skills to interact well with others in class, the school is very happy with his progress and haven't reported any issues at all.
i was approached by an angry parent on the school grounds who was accusing my child of pushing their child and said it was on a regular basis. I told them to speak to the teacher and stayed back to chat to the teacher myself. I was told that they weren't aware of anything happing at school and they had no concerns with my child.
a few days later the parent approached my child directly in the playground and told him not to push her child. i spoke to them directly this time and asked that they not speak directly to my child but to the school and that I had been advised that there is no issue with my child. To which the parent said they chose to believe what their child was telling them.
i am unsure how to deal with the situation as Im being told there isn't an issue by the school but this child is going home telling its Parents things that aren't really happening. The parent told me that MY childs behaviour isn't normal and this really has upset me - I am at a loss and sick of crying about this all the time. I dread going to the school incase another thing happens. Because my child has autism there is always a chance he can act out but he's adamant he's not doing what he's being accused of.
Anyone had similar situations?
Hi Ash123, sorry to hear you're having a bad time I was in more or less the same position as you last year, my son is also 5 and he had an issue with a girl in year 1, his school is small and reception and year 1 are in the same room. Our problem was he scratched the girl in questions face quite innocently he was copying another boy and pretending to be a dinosaur and got too close, she is always very huggy with him and did'nt move away quick enough. Anyway her mother was'nt happy and facebook shamed my son and made it all horrible, I was paranoid, stressed cried all the time and felt my son was being used as a scapegoat for everything in school. So I had a meeting with the head teacher who put my mind at ease, spoke to the parent and no it was'nt resolved immediately but it got the ball rolling. The school now use a restorative approach to solving issues, so if children do have a issues with each other it is sorted within the school day and not taken home. It takes time and it does get better I promise, keep going to the teacher it should be the school who intervene never engage the parent unless you have to. The best thing I did was join the local ASD/ADHD group if your in Cambs I can point the way and I discovered there are more parents with kids on the spectrum in my school, it was comforting to know. Sorry my point if I get there is follow the others advice, stick within the school and hang in there I know its awful but you have the community, it is only one parent as it was in my situation others will be on your side without maybe you knowing it. My son kind of did his own thing during the Nativity this year and I truely broke out in a cold sweat, more worried he would ruin some tots great moment but a mum I hardly know came up to me a few days later and said was'nt it wonderful that he joined in, it was really heartwarming and a thankful comment. Keep your chin up.