Diagnosed at 47

I've spent about a year or so in the mental health system, tho I think that only made me worse. I know at various times I've been signed off work with stress and depression. The psychiatrist I saw was an Indian gentleman (nothing against Indians), tho he made me feel like a naughty little girl, when I didn't collect the meds he prescribed, due to me perhaps having reservations about them.  I was looking after my disabled husband at the time, and I think he said to me "Don't you think it's your duty to look after your husband". I wasn't arguing with that, yes from a moral point, tho legally I could refuse to provide care, but social services have a legal obligation. I  wasn't disputing my obligations, but saying I need help.
Since then my husband and I habe split up, I did work doing care work. Tho that didn't work out, and I know one day I ws supposed to be looking for work, tho I was on social media on the computer. This was where I met my fella, he advised me to go sick so I did and was signed off with anxiety and depression, work has been at best erratic.
It's only about a month or so ago I was diagnosed with Aspergers at age 45.  I feel now at least I've a diagnosis and that may explain why maybe I am the way I am.
I can't pinpoint when this depression started. I know at infants school sometimes I'd fake illness, and I know one morning my Mum sent me despite my protests, as she'd thought I'd had much time off, tho it came to lunchtime , and i think the dinner ladies tried to get me to eat my mains, then it came to pudding, and I was violently ill, (put off semolina for years), and my mum had to collect me and apologise. I know some kids were bullies, tho I think at age 11 the actions of the bullies seemed to take a more sinister turn, and then events with an older cousin.
I did read that those with ASD can be more prone to being victims of bullies. I know it's not always possible to tell if a person has ASD, unless behaviour may hint at it. I know ASD can affect individuals in different ways. I'm just wondering why I seemed to be bullied more than the non ASD kids.
I know maybe I'm better at social situations now than I was, tho the first time I met my fella I did look him up and down & then back up, tho I wasn't sure if he was serious or not, but I think maybe I lingered on his man bits a little too long, and he said that he felt like a "piece of meat"  I did say to him that it was NOT my intention, tho if I did make a social faux pas then it's certanally done our friendship/relationship no harm.  I did phone him as he's 60 miles away once I had a diagnosis and  jokingly said that I've an "excuse" for that now. Who says people with ASD don't understand jokes. I think sometimes I get jokes straight away, others I find more difficult. I know sometimes in work situations I've not known whether to take a colleague seriously or not.
As regards sleeping, I never have been very good at settling from being a baby, I know my Dad would say to me I would rock in my pram, and my mum did sometimes try and get me off by staying with me til I was asleep. Tho she filled in some  answers  to questions for the Aspergers assessment and she said I was impossible to settle. I know somtimes if of an evening I watch a DVD or tv,catch up sometimes I find I zonk out on the sofa, and then awake at stupid o'clock. I feel as an adult I find I thrash around in bed, or I'm so tired I zonk. I find valerian root often works for me, and  zopiclone if I need something stronger. I didn't used to have panic attacks , they seem to have started more recently.               

I've spent about a year or so in the mental health system, tho I think that only made me worse. I know at various times I've been signed off work with stress and depression. The psychiatrist I saw was an Indian gentleman (nothing against Indians), tho he made me feel like a naughty little girl, when I didn't collect the meds he prescribed, due to me perhaps having reservations about them.  I was looking after my disabled husband at the time, and I think he said to me "Don't you think it's your duty to look after your husband". I wasn't arguing with that, yes from a moral point, tho legally I could refuse to provide care, but social services have a legal obligation. I  wasn't disputing my obligations, but saying I need help.
Since then my husband and I habe split up, I did work doing care work. Tho that didn't work out, and I know one day I ws supposed to be looking for work, tho I was on social media on the computer. This was where I met my fella, he advised me to go sick so I did and was signed off with anxiety and depression, work has been at best erratic.
It's only about a month or so ago I was diagnosed with Aspergers at age 45.  I feel now at least I've a diagnosis and that may explain why maybe I am the way I am.
I can't pinpoint when this depression started. I know at infants school sometimes I'd fake illness, and I know one morning my Mum sent me despite my protests, as she'd thought I'd had much time off, tho it came to lunchtime , and i think the dinner ladies tried to get me to eat my mains, then it came to pudding, and I was violently ill, (put off semolina for years), and my mum had to collect me and apologise. I know some kids were bullies, tho I think at age 11 the actions of the bullies seemed to take a more sinister turn, and then events with an older cousin.
I did read that those with ASD can be more prone to being victims of bullies. I know it's not always possible to tell if a person has ASD, unless behaviour may hint at it. I know ASD can affect individuals in different ways. I'm just wondering why I seemed to be bullied more than the non ASD kids.
I know maybe I'm better at social situations now than I was, tho the first time I met my fella I did look him up and down & then back up, tho I wasn't sure if he was serious or not, but I think maybe I lingered on his man bits a little too long, and he said that he felt like a "piece of meat"  I did say to him that it was NOT my intention, tho if I did make a social faux pas then it's certanally done our friendship/relationship no harm.  I did phone him as he's 60 miles away once I had a diagnosis and  jokingly said that I've an "excuse" for that now. Who says people with ASD don't understand jokes. I think sometimes I get jokes straight away, others I find more difficult. I know sometimes in work situations I've not known whether to take a colleague seriously or not.
As regards sleeping, I never have been very good at settling from being a baby, I know my Dad would say to me I would rock in my pram, and my mum did sometimes try and get me off by staying with me til I was asleep. Tho she filled in some  answers  to questions for the Aspergers assessment and she said I was impossible to settle. I know somtimes if of an evening I watch a DVD or tv,catch up sometimes I find I zonk out on the sofa, and then awake at stupid o'clock. I feel as an adult I find I thrash around in bed, or I'm so tired I zonk. I find valerian root often works for me, and  zopiclone if I need something stronger. I didn't used to have panic attacks , they seem to have started more recently.