Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone, My name is Jake and I was diagnosed with autism only 2 weeks ago. This came about through my workplace as they recognised that my anxiety and panic disorder seemed to have similar patterns to someone who is autistic. I'm currently very confused, upset, angry, sad a whole mix of emotions (though it's become apparent that actually my perception of emotions is very different from everyone elses so these might not be the right words at all). I have an immense amount of support around me, however I am finding it quite difficult on a daily basis at the moment. Especially with Christmas just around the corner, and having lost my younger sister 8 weeks ago. It's a hell of a roller coaster I'm on at the moment and I have no control over the direction in which it's going. Well, that's how it feels anyway. I'm hoping to have the full report sent through soon so I can gain a better understanding of where I fall on the autistic spectrum, and then research and understand what exactly it is that I'm living with. At the end of the day, knowledge is power right? I'm looking forward to hearing back from people who have been in the same situation as me, with such a late diagnosis, and hoping someone else can at least begin to understand what it is I'm going through.
Hi Jake and welcome
There are many of us who've found out what we are as adults. I'm a middle aged woman, and I didn't have a clue until early this year.
I'm very sorry about your sister. I'm not very good at empathy, but I hope you'll understand that I'm trying to make you feel better when I say that I'm sure she would want you to be happy, and that you should try to remember the good things.
I'm glad to hear that you have a lot of support. Christmas is a difficult time for many of us. I hate the lead up to it - the noise, crowds, over decoration, the demands to be "sociable". Once it's here I'm OK, as I can then have a peaceful time in my flat, just me and my partner.
Confusion is understandable at this stage, but just bear in mind that you're the same person you've always been. We're all individual, so we each have slightly different qualities, skills and needs, but there are many areas of commonality, or at least similarity. We all get anxious when we're overloaded, but some will get overloaded quicker than others, depending on our individual sensitivies and current frame of mind, and meltdowns take differing forms.
You're correct that knowledge is power. I read lots about autism, but then wanted to know how NTs (neurotypicals, or people without autism) were different from me. I found the book " A field guide to Earthlings - an autistic/Asperger view of neurotypical behaviour" really helpful. I got it from Amazon in Kindle format.
There is always someone on here who will try to help, so if you have a question, just post it.
All the best
Pixie