Published on 12, July, 2020
A little bit about me.
I have a form of autism called Asperger Syndrome. For those unfamiliar with this condition, visit here: www.autism.org.uk/.../asperger.aspx.
I was only recently diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. Throughout my childhood and while I was growing through to early adulthood, I experienced the symptons of Asperger's, although at the time I just thought I was socially inexperienced and I didn't think that I had a problem at the time. When I attempted to 'socialise', I found it etremely difficult and I was just quiet and 'pretended' I was doing something else so that I didn't look stupid.
Troughout my adulthood (and quite recently), my Asperger's has manifested from social awkwardness into complete isolation from other people. I even become anxious when someone I dont know comes near me, and I really struggle when there are groups of people.
I live 300 miles away from my family, so I am dealing with this condition on my own with no help what-so-ever, and I've come to the point where I need to get support or I'm going to severely struggle to care for myself.
One of the things that I really struggle with this condition is job interviews. People give me advice on 'how to calm my nerves', but for me it's more of a phobia; where some people's phobias are height, snakes etc, mind is socialising and job interviews. It gets to the point where my vision is blurred, difficulity breathing and I experiencing slight panic attacks.
People tend to judge because Asperger Syndrome isn't visible on the outside. For example, I'm currently claiming JSA and my advisor at the job centre is a real bully. She has already made the prejudicial opinion that I'm lazy and I have noreal problems, even though I have an official diagnoses of autism. She forces me to go into job agencies and 'talk' otherwise my claim will be sanctioned. For those of you who don't know what Asperger's is like, when one has axiety with people,it can induce panic attacks and affect your health. This is why I'm considering signing off and applying for ESA, because I cannot cope with theseanxiety attacks anymore.
ESA probably isn't an option either as I've heard some real horror stories with DWP and ATOS, and you have to be severely incapacited to be considered incapable of working. Like unable to pick up a kettle etc.
Life kinda sucks with zero help for my condition. I'm expected to cope on my own (I live alone), and when I do struggle to go to job interviews (I'm scared of those things), I will get sanctioned, which means less money, which will in turn affect my physical health. Oh, I forgot to mention, I suffer from Perthes Disease too, which affects my hips.
Any advice will be appreciated.
Pride, you have received very good advice from others here but I just want to add one thing. That is, in the final analysis, you have to learn to be your own best friend. What I mean by that is to accept yourself, without judement, and to use self-talk to try to guide your reactions when they seem to be getting out of hand. I know that sounds pretty glib but really, this is the main purpose of CBT, where the therapist attempts to change the way somebody thinks about their life and the way they behave. In other words, we have to turn to our 'wise' self in order to navigate our way through life. I don't mean become self-obsessed about our every action but when we feel we are floundering over some situation to try to step back and look at ourselves and the kinds of reactions our disorder tends to make us do, as someone else might look at us, and try to take a middle course. I find that it's useful to try to make myself slow down in order to allow me some thinking space because a calmer mind is generally better able to think more effectively than an agitated one. This isn't easy and has to be practised and, I think, tends to come with age and maturity but in the final analysis we have to be our own best friend, something that is the aim of therapy.