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Hi i need some advice / help . I am desperate

leedslass
over 8 years ago

Hi Folks hoping some other parent has been in the same position as me. I am getting very frustrated with myself for being unable to help my adult child in thier late 20's .  I now believe quite strongly he is on the autistic spectrum. He is isolated, has rigorous routines (I can set my watch by him) and will not detract from them.  Does notcommunicate with all of us, sits in bedroom, gets in to a blind panic when i make him eat at the table on a few occassions, loves words, super intelligent etc etc....but I cannot find a way to get him to come to the docs with me. He will chat and play with our dog...who I actually got because I read that sufferers would 'communicate ' with animals.  I am hoping someone has had this experiance and may be able to help me , offer me guidance or point me to some group who may be able to help.

Oh and he will talk when he is on the phone.!

thanks for reading. 

Parents
  • over 8 years ago

    Thinking about things from his angle,  and the fact he doesn't believe there's anything wrong with him.  Would he accept do you think that other people are different to him and therefore something may be wrong with them? 

    Suggest he takes the AQ test online to humour you and see if the results of it prompt him to research more by himself. 

    If he can determine for himself that he is blessed with higher IQ than NT sufferers and ticks a lot of boxes on a well trusted test...  Perhaps he may be open to the idea that his differences to others are intimidating to them or cause them to avoid him

    This I suppose won't get over him being content with how he is and therefore seek help.  

    Has he considered what he will do when  you are too old to look after him? Has he considered what would happen if you weren't there? Would he cope or would he accept that he needs to start dealing with that and learning to not rely on you for housing,  food,  care etc? It may be that this will send him into a panic or anger at the thought -  but if it is repeated enough so he can't get away from it you may find the opening to get him to see a doctor who could help him. 

    Visual prompts and written letters will be a good way to communicate to him in a way he finds more acceptable too.  I know my son will avoid talking about things he feels are awkward or irrelevant.  A TV program,  YouTube video or letter are far more effective at opening his mind to new concepts to prepare him for a verbal conversation 

Reply
  • over 8 years ago

    Thinking about things from his angle,  and the fact he doesn't believe there's anything wrong with him.  Would he accept do you think that other people are different to him and therefore something may be wrong with them? 

    Suggest he takes the AQ test online to humour you and see if the results of it prompt him to research more by himself. 

    If he can determine for himself that he is blessed with higher IQ than NT sufferers and ticks a lot of boxes on a well trusted test...  Perhaps he may be open to the idea that his differences to others are intimidating to them or cause them to avoid him

    This I suppose won't get over him being content with how he is and therefore seek help.  

    Has he considered what he will do when  you are too old to look after him? Has he considered what would happen if you weren't there? Would he cope or would he accept that he needs to start dealing with that and learning to not rely on you for housing,  food,  care etc? It may be that this will send him into a panic or anger at the thought -  but if it is repeated enough so he can't get away from it you may find the opening to get him to see a doctor who could help him. 

    Visual prompts and written letters will be a good way to communicate to him in a way he finds more acceptable too.  I know my son will avoid talking about things he feels are awkward or irrelevant.  A TV program,  YouTube video or letter are far more effective at opening his mind to new concepts to prepare him for a verbal conversation 

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