Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello to all members. So interesting to read everyone's personal stories and experiences.
I do not know if I have an autistic child. We have never sought a diagnosis or even talked about it as a couple.
As a result our son is now 16, but I have had a few creeping concerns for about him for about 3 years now. If he does have a problem it's very mild.
He is one of our four children (second eldest) and right from when he was a baby it was always he who I have felt a special bond with. He always appeared the more vulnerable, the more fragile.
I'm not going to go through all of the 'signs' that ring true for him in this first post. There are of course many that don't ring true also. But there are a few difficulties in social situations, a very limited range of interests. He spends most of his time alone in his room, and although not without friends, doesn't appear to make them easily. He is bright enough that he excelled in maths when he was a child, memorised all the worlds flags when he was 5, and used to 'read' childrens books out loud to people when he was 3. He couldn't in fact read, he had just memorised them. Now he isn't interested in anything except football, and will not partake in conversation about anything else at all. He's doing average in school.
Why is he not tested? Because i don't feel confident enough in our position to access good local health services with regards to this type of situation. We live in rural France and the services are a bit basic. Also our command of the language isn't up to the subtleties, impressions and nuances of discussing something like this. French doctors are notorious for throwing pills at every situation, and our GP is a master of the art.
Anyway, big strength to everyone, and a bo=ig hello
Thank very much for your reply. No-one has to help so it is appreciated.
I think we have been doing some things right, but not all. He and I have had some heated debates in the past, which have even become physical. But I have managed to stop that totally, as he has also matured somewhat.
But he is such a sensitive, insecure lad that I at present don't want to even mention that he might have a 'condition' of any sort, without being sure myself. And even then I'm not sure.
He goes to school on the 06:40 bus, but he gets up at 5am to get ready for it. It's great that he's so organised but it's exhausting him. He says if he gets up any later he stresses, so he'd rather be early. If I drive him to football he tells me what time we need to leave, and if we're 2 mins late in leaving he stresses all the way and kind of panics.
He's always been this way but I never considered him as being on the spectrum. But you know what it's like - once you consider something like this, then more and more episodes and characteristics seem to fit.
Thanks again. If he was to be diagnosed it would at least allow us to bear it in mind in our dealing with him. We might stop trying to change his ways, and just allow him to be him. Just understand more perhaps.