Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello to all members. So interesting to read everyone's personal stories and experiences.
I do not know if I have an autistic child. We have never sought a diagnosis or even talked about it as a couple.
As a result our son is now 16, but I have had a few creeping concerns for about him for about 3 years now. If he does have a problem it's very mild.
He is one of our four children (second eldest) and right from when he was a baby it was always he who I have felt a special bond with. He always appeared the more vulnerable, the more fragile.
I'm not going to go through all of the 'signs' that ring true for him in this first post. There are of course many that don't ring true also. But there are a few difficulties in social situations, a very limited range of interests. He spends most of his time alone in his room, and although not without friends, doesn't appear to make them easily. He is bright enough that he excelled in maths when he was a child, memorised all the worlds flags when he was 5, and used to 'read' childrens books out loud to people when he was 3. He couldn't in fact read, he had just memorised them. Now he isn't interested in anything except football, and will not partake in conversation about anything else at all. He's doing average in school.
Why is he not tested? Because i don't feel confident enough in our position to access good local health services with regards to this type of situation. We live in rural France and the services are a bit basic. Also our command of the language isn't up to the subtleties, impressions and nuances of discussing something like this. French doctors are notorious for throwing pills at every situation, and our GP is a master of the art.
Anyway, big strength to everyone, and a bo=ig hello
I think the online tests can be a useful tool. As mid warns, it's best not to read too much into them, but they do often get used as part of the formal evaluation process in order to identify which areas need looking at more closely - so, within the limitations of being "self-reported", they are reasonable respected by clinicians.
Has your son ever considered using forums like this himself? Most of the ones I visit are happy to welcome people without a formal diagnosis (most countries don't have free health care, so there are plenty of people who simply can't afford to get diagnosed). Autistic people themselves are by far the best people to get good advice from, as most doctors and therapists are not themselves autistic. Your son might benefit from getting to know some people online who are similar to him, in a space where his traits are not going to be judged or criticised.