My 2 sons

thank you for your reply and advice i will mention to my son and he would probably benefit from coming on here and talking to people in a similar position to him he tries to talk to me and i try to understand him,

Thank you for the welcome.

Hi Jules, welcome.

It's good that your son is now facing up to the reality of his problems.  It's a shame that it took a crisis like that to bring it to the fore, but I think that is common for many people with developmental or mental health conditions.  As you say, society doesn't want to listen much of the time, and I think this often leads people to bury their heads in the sand because the potential for stigma can be so very frightening.  It must be particularly scary for someone discovering their diagnosis slap bang in the middle of puberty - it's hardly the easiest time for many people, even in the best of circumstances.

Your son may not be ready for it yet, but do consider seeing if he will join some places like this himself.  Nothing has helped me more than being able to go on-line anonymously and discover other people who share experiences that I once though were unique to me.  It really helps to combat the feeling that one is alone and facing a world that will never understand us - plus of course, all of the practical tips for managing our traits more easily.

Best wishes.

Hi jules1065, welcome to the community.  Hope you find it interesting and get some useful advice, information and insights.

hi thank you my oldest son was 15 before he was diagnosed he is now nearly 20 he has social anxieties and depression has tried a couple of jobs but couldnt stay because he got too anxious i have struggled to get help for him and he has basically been left i had problems with school refusal when he was at high school they tried to force him to go then i asked the doctor if he could be referred to somewhere so he could get help and that is when he was diagnosed he flatly denied he had it but after his last job which only lasted 2 days he broke down and admitted he had problems i have had a struggle getting people to listen to me and it seems you have to fight for everything thank you for replying to my message.

Hi Jules welcome to the forum,

Autism often runs in families so it is fairly common for siblings (and parents) to have autistic traits in different degrees. The distinction between Aspergers and autism is being abolished so that people who are diagnosed now are not likely to get a diagnosis of Aspergers. Did your eldest get diagnosed under the previous rules or is there a marked difference between them?