Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello! I'm very new to this site and am hoping someone might be able to help me or point me in the right direction as I'm at my wit's end!!
I will try and keep it short, but am concerned regarding my 4 year old son. Basically, from day 1 when he was born he was different. He use to scream all the time, never slept and was a very difficult baby. He suffered badly with bronchilitis and up until the age of about 2 had regular bouts of this, often ending up in hospital on oxygen. When he reached the age of two, he was not talking or even babbling. This went on and we were referred to a speech therapist who tried to bring him on. After a few months he still wasn't making much progress so I fought long and hard with the NHS to have his hearing checked. Sure enough he had glue ear in both ears. After again fighting with the NHS to do surgery on him to have grommets fitted - a year later he had them fitted. My son sees a ped often who regularly checks and assesses him. As well as the glue ear and speech delay (which has not come on any more since having grommets) Ben has also got other issues. He is behind in development and we have recently been told he has low muscle tone and will need to have physio. On top of this, he displays some other behaviours. He is very ridged with routine and hates any change to his day. He's obsessed with the same toys and will play with them by himself for hours, watches the same videos over and over and of late his behaviour is becoming a big problem. the only way I can describe it is like a switch goes off in him and the rage that comes from him is unreal. Family outings are becoming a problem as if he throws a fit, that's the day ruined as we have to leave. Things we have done with him or taken him to 100 times before can all of a sudden be an issue and we don't know why. He is also sensitive to sounds and will often put his hands over his ears.
The reason why I am confused is that the ped mentioned autism to us, but dismissed it as Ben is such a loving and caring child at home. He does however blank people and will often close his eyes and pretend to be asleep if anyone talks to him. He's not interested in having friends and if I have ever had any home, he will play with them for about half an hour and then will take himself off and play by himself and not want to be bothered. However with his parents he is the most affectionate child I know. He loves to be kissed, cuddled and generally loved on, almost excessively. Our ped said he was confused by him as he said there is def something not right, but couldn't say what. He's had genetics tests done which are all clear, so we have now been left in limbo not knowing what to do. Does anyone think I should get him tested for autism, or do you think I'm just looking to much into it?! Any info would be much appreciated. Thank you xx
He does sound as though he could be on the autistic spectrum. He may also have other issues that might lead to similar behaviours. It is likely to need a autism specialist to make a reliable diagnosis - it is not uncommon for paed's to be unable to tell the difference (autism isn't easy to diagnose and paeds are only human and don't know everything!). Getting a diagnosis won't lead to a cure but should lead to extra help.
The only problem with getting a diagnosis can be that people (you, family, other people and even himself) will treat him differently if he has a label. It sounds as though you will benefit from getting a diagnosis so I would pursue this if I were you.